Characters as Therapy

Writers are asked, "Where do you get your ideas?"

If I were to answer honestly, I'd say, "From my fears and insecurities."

I was a shy, introverted kid with about enough self-confidence to fill the toe of one of my black-and-white saddle shoes. As I grew up and understood more about myself and the world I gained self-confidence (some) and learned to deal with my shyness. (Thank you very much, sisters of Delta Gamma for that!) But I remain a quiet person and I continue to keep my own counsel. When I'm worried about something, I tend to write it out.

Over the years, I've written many problems out through fictional characters. The characters are manifestations of aspects of whatever I'm working on. Because I'm writing them, I control the variables, the experiences, and the outcomes, which means I'm able to deal with the situations and information in manageable pieces.

In high school I worked on a rambling series of interconnected stories about a group of...you guessed it...high school kids. They did a lot of the same things I did with my friends. I used the point of view character, a boy named Trey, to figure out how I felt about things. He sometimes made the same choices I would have and sometimes different. The part I liked was writing about the aftermath. How did Trey feel? What did his friends think? How were his relationships changed? I was so passive and quiet in my own life that Trey was like my action alter ego. He did stuff and I got to see what would happen.

Wanted Man, my first novel, is partly about people who make choices about their work and family balance, what dreams are worth pursuing, and what happens if you share your dream with other people. It's not coincidental that at the time I was writing the book, I was also taking my first firm steps toward fiction writing as a profession. My kids were approaching elementary school age and needing less 24-hour involvement from me and I wanted to experiment with what it would feel like to prioritize my dreams ahead of some of my obligations (like laundry and dinner).

I just sold two proposals to Superromance and the second one, in particular, includes some issues I've been worried about in my own life. I'm eager to write that book so I can see how things work out. I don't think it was coincidental that my editor, Victoria, felt it was the stronger proposal.

The beauty of fiction is that these people aren't me. Not remotely. But they do face situations I'm curious about. They do bring some of my fears to their stories. I love delving into and writing out the psychology of characters, maybe at least partly because I use them to sort through my real feelings. Sometimes the fictional people reach different conclusions or take actions I wouldn't. It's a safe way for me to experiment with those paths I'm not taking.

One of the notes Victoria made repeatedly on my last manuscript was to cut the more excessive introspection and trust the reader. It's good advice. So in the finished work I'll try to cut back on the thinky thoughts, leaving the ones that matter. I doubt I'll stop writing those thoughts, though, because it's part of my therapy. Part of how writing helps to keep me sane.

Thanks for reading this ramble!

Ellen

Ellen's Blog --- Ellen's Website

The Boyfriend's Back Superromance May '09

His Secret Past Superromance May '08