Just in case anyone notices...I have not dropped off the face of the earth...but I am stuck in a dental nightmare that would sound a lot like Kafka's THE TRIAL.
I lost a filling Sunday night. Normally not a problem except I have major dental anxiety, complex dental issues, and the prosthodontist who did the filling quit private practicve to go into teaching. So now I am stuck. My periodontist and my former prosthodontist worked together to take care of my general dentistry needs because 2 general dentist referrals decided thatmy dental issues were beyond the scope of my expertise. So.....it is now 4 days later, 4 days of anxious waiting just for a phone call,. and the prosthodontist who took over says that he will not do maintenance work and the only way he will take me on as a patient is if I come in and he does complete reconstructive work on my mouth.
I suppose I should feel thankful to have been spared him. From his comments, it is obvious he is interested, not in helping the actual patient or listening to patient needs and concerns in conjunction to the charts but reeling in the big ticket items. Why is it that dentists around here don't seem to understand that it is MY body and they need to work with the patient. It is not like the current maintennace plan is some outrageous thing concocted out of thin air. My current periodontist and and all the 5 or 6 periodontists and every other specialist too I have seen as dentists or second opinions over the past 17 years have agreed that this is the best thing for me and that has worked just fine for 17 years and the only thing that has changed is I lost a filling. It's not like I am in some dental crisis...why is maintenance something a dentist cannot do? I am sure I can have all kinds of procedures but why should I? I am not stupid...I have been to more specialists and don't need one more evaluation to tell me what I already know. I know more about this stuff than any lay person ever should. I need a filling replaced plain and simple to be able to live with my current situation.
It's like what happened to my mother-in-law when she was alive. Surgery for a blood clot nicked a facial nerve that left her unable to blink her eye. The esteemed doctors at that hospital wanted to take out her eye...instead, my father-in-law made a shade to go around the edge of her glasses that protected her eye from dust. With that and eye drops she was just fine the rest of her life. What would you choose? High tech does not always mean good medicine.
I am stuck on the Denver area dental merry-go-round.... I have major dental anxiety and I can tell you this whole merry-go-round really steps up the level several notches just sitting here before I even walk ito an office. I know I should try not to expect this to turn bad but it's hard not think "here we go again". So...how many dentists will it take to find one who will replace this filling and will I need a root canal by then or to have the tooth pulled because of this waiting choose a dentist merry-go-round?
So... I haven't disappeared...I am just living in a dental nightmare that has very little to even do with my teeth. I am trying to read and distract myself but this whole thing has me so wound up that I am not very good company right now.
I am having these fantasies of the Medical Romances being required in dental school patient care curricula all over the country! One of the reasons I love the Medicals so much is that so far everyone I have read has shown medical people doing their best to help patients...not drive them crazy! My periodontist has been a real trooper, and a lot like the wonderful medical people in the Laura Iding romance I read..if only he could fill teeth. These medical professionals do exist in real life too.. But please...no dental medical romances! One thing I loved about the last Laura Iding Medical Romance I read is that she showed that common sense has a real place in medicine and also in bettering patients' lives.
AKA Merri
Family Challenge Team: The Spine Breakers with my dh Glenn AKA Phaedrus
Oh Merri....
I'm going through a bit of a dental crisis as well and my nerves are shot. I have major dental anxiety. I cried in my appointment on Tuesday. And i"m not a wimp. I had my babies without drugs. I've had lots of things done and never cried. But I cried in the chair on Tuesday.
Hugs to you and a speedy and non-stressful resolution soon.
Donna
THE SOLDIER'S HOMECOMING, Romance, March 08, Aus/NZ April 08
FALLING FOR MR DARK AND DANGEROUS, Romance, August 08
THE RANCHER'S RUNAWAY PRINCESS, Romance, January 09
http://www.donnaalward.com
http://www.donnaalward.blogspot.com
Oh Donna, I am so sorry.
Oh Donna, I am so sorry. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
I have cried a lot in a dentist's office myself over the years---more as an adult than I did as a kid. I have learned a few strategies to deal...at least if I am actually at a dentist's office (!) like trying to get an a.m. appointment so I don't worry all day, taking a teddy bear and holding it...even asking the assistant to hold my hand. I used to play tough guy but now, when it comes to the dentist, if I look like a fool, too bad if it gets me through. I don't do well with the IV sedation because too much sedation makes me even more scared oddly enough but my dentist prescribed the mildest dose by pill so I can relax but not be overwhelmed. I normally don't even take Tylenol. I always tell myself I can always walk out (never have). I have been through a lot of procedures. Listening to music on headphones during a procedure (I like Benedictine monks chanting but some of my friends do anything from rock to jaszz to classical to country muisic) . Also closing my eyes so I don't see. When I had a root canal the doctor had these warm blankets he gave patients that were wonderful. The root canal was actually the easier than getting my teeth cleaned once he started. Taking a friend. Sometimes my husband has even sat in the room and that helped. I still feel like a 2 year old but those are some of the things I have done when actually in the office.
The waiting is what gets me to me more than anything and this feeling of being totally helpless and having no choice....especially when I know too much. Sometimes being helpless is ok...like for medical crises when a person needs someone to make decisions...but for a filling, this is just too extreme. It should not take this kind of effort, long waiting time and disruption of my life to get a tooth filled! I really do not do well with control freak, power hungry or condescending dentists that think somehow I don't understand or am stupid. I might be scared out of my wits...but I am not stupid. I do like my periodontist because he gets it.
Anyhow, I'll keep you in my thoughts. It will probably help me too.
AKA Merri
Family Challenge Team: The Spine Breakers with my dh Glenn AKA Phaedrus
Oh, goodness
I feel for you, Merri, and Donna too. I've just finished a course of major dental treatment with a prosthodontist and I did not enjoy it one bit. It was made worse by two cancelled appointments (by him) which stretched out the waiting time and nearly drove me crazy.
They have no idea what this stuff does to us, and we're not wimps. Hang in there, Merri.
Claire
The Single Dad's Patchwork Family, Harlequin Romance, Apr 08
Pregnant: Father Wanted, Harlequin Romance, Dec 08
http://www.clairebaxter.com
Merri and Donna, I'm a member...
...of the club. I am a card carrying dentalphobe. I have to say that my dh's dentist (that has a practice 45-50 minutes away) is pretty good, but I still will do anything to avoid going there. Most of the time my dh will take the girls to the dentist because I get so antsy about just being there and smelling the unique dental office smell. I bring books for distraction--it still doesn't really help. The dentist pipes calming, soothing music into every room. He will take things slowly, letting the patient know that all they have to do is signal and he will stop until they can regroup, but I still resist going. It has nothing to do with the dentist or his practice. Merri, I feel your pain and frustration. I hope that you are able to get this matter resolve soon.
Nancy
sheandeen@gmail.com
It's a major thing when people prefer to let their teeth rot
rather than visit a dentist
and that is my case too, I found ONE dentist who was good about being patient and letting me have time to regroup and then I moved
Four years later I still haven't got around to making an appointment with a local dentist, but maybe I'll bite the bullet soon
It's common sense that we apprehend having to stay still with our mouth stretched wide open - let's face it it's not anybody's idea of an ideal relaxation position
Hugs and more hugs Merri and hopefully this will sort itself out soon
Sadhbh
May's Member of the Month
Dream Team 2008 Challenge blogs
I once chose visiting the
I once chose visiting the dentist rather than going to a birthday party when I was a kid. But now I don't go regularly. I'm not afraid but I don't like the dentists in France.
"Perhaps what the average member of a group is capable of doesn't limit what a given individual can accomplish." -- Boston Globe, letter to the editor
March's Member of the Month!
I feel for you Merri ....
dental care here is so expensive ... and they all want to push you to have procedures you really don't want or need just yet ...... sadly I don't freeze well ... for some reason the nerves to my teeth are just not effected by the freezing .... so you can imagine my reluctance to go and some of the horror stories I can relate
I have a tooth where it must have had a shallow filing, which is now gone and part of the tooth has broken away ... it's a bottom molar .. there's been no pain so I've been biding my time looking for a dentist again (mine moved out of country) .... but I really need to do something because the tooth in front has a crown and I've noticed lately when I chew gum that the crown feels loose ... sigh ... I went through agony with that crown and a three month lupus flare afterward
I agree Merri about the am appointments .... I fatigue easily with stress ... and fatigue increases pain .. so I try to get as good a sleep as I can the night before, and have appts about mid morning when I'm at my strongest physically ....
if I should ever win the Lotto, I'm going to find myself a great oral surgeon and be hospitalized and have all my teeth removed and have titanium implants put in ... they'll last forever and I'll never ever feel pain again ... but I need to win the Lotto first
good luck, Merri! ..... I'm thinking of you
~~ KatherineT ~~ I'm a Harlequin Addict, and I'm proud of it!
~~ Quiet Canadians ~ 2008 Book Challenge Blog
Miserable
Well, aren't we all just miserable together!
Actually the cleaning is the absolute worst. When i had my crown done it was lots of work but I didn't feel anything. Last week I had laser done and it was the easiest appt I'd been to in a long time. But I take a lot of freezing as well. I suspect I'll need more laser, but as long as they freeze me I think I'll be ok.
I'm not entirely sure the trouble tooth is going to make it. If not I'm going the implant route. Stupidly expensive and not covered by our plan. Sigh. I did learn though that anything not covered we can claim back on taxes, so I'm holding on to that thought.
All I can hope is that the new dentist and periodontist are sympathetic to anxiety and will work with me so I'm comfortable. My dd probably has to have several extractions and I'm trying really hard to stay upbeat for her sake. Her top molars came in this year but her baby teeth didn't come out.
Donna
THE SOLDIER'S HOMECOMING, Romance, March 08, Aus/NZ April 08
FALLING FOR MR DARK AND DANGEROUS, Romance, August 08
THE RANCHER'S RUNAWAY PRINCESS, Romance, January 09
http://www.donnaalward.com
http://www.donnaalward.blogspot.com
Claire, oh, I am sorry. I
Claire, oh, I am sorry. I hope the worst is over. Sadhbh and FF, I wonder if part of it is personal space having dentists in one's face. Just being in a chair gets to me even when they are not doing something. ...or the waiting room. Donna, I hope they can save it. My root canal tooth was really iffy even after the root canal. My former prosthodontist wasn't sure but finally decided to try when others would not because the alternative was not great. Technically, it was an unsavable tooth but it is stil lthere and still going strong as far as I know. I haven't been able to save all my teeth but 20 years ago my 5 year dental prognosis was horrible and now it is 20 years later it's better than anyone imagined. Donna...I so agree...the cleaning is the worst part. Cleanings are technically better now that I been under a periodontist's care for so long but even when I have no plaque, I hate them more than any other thing!
Thanks everyone. It does feel better to know I am not alone. I have done so many brave things in my life... but when it comes to the dentist, I am reduced to a 2 year old bundle of nerves. I shattered my ankle and coped ok with that but just telephoning the dentist makes me upset. Katherine T...you hit the nail on the head...stress is fatiguing.
For the most part, my teeth are not so much the problem as the lack of bone structure to hold them. Implants are not even an option. I have a very small mouth and they have to use juvenile molds on me. I haven't always taken the best care of my mouth but some of the issues with the bone structure are hereditary.
Well, hopefully, one step ahead. I have an appointment with a dentist on Tuesday. At least from talikng to the receptionist, it appears that they understand the issue about maintenance better than the prosthodontist and he does do bonding which so many dentists don't do now in favor of more high tech expensive procedures. And he works closely with my periodontist on lots of patients. Of course...it doesn't mean that this is what will happen when I get there (too often it seems like a little thing like a filling turns into several months of stuff) or that there isn't something I don't know about.
I also got one more indication that this new prosthodontist was really into $$$ more than patient care before I even saw him. He was actually going to charge a small fortune to send the X-rays and a copy of each page of my former prosthodontists' records! The per page cost that is much higher than the cost of a photocopy the labor to do it. These are MY records anyhow....records paid to have done as part of my visits with the former guy and I never ewven gave my permisison for him to have them. Anyhow, I quess I am just thankful big time that I found out what that prosthodontist was all about before being subjected to an office visit. For that, I am lucky, very lucky! He may be good at what he does but he definitely is thinking $$$ not patient. I am appreciative of good dental and patient care and pay upfriont or immediately what insurance doesn't cover but everything that came from his office is $$$, $$$$, $$$ not anything about patient care. My other dentists routinely pass X-rays and everything else back and forth..even talk on the phone as part of patient care. So...at least for this brief moment, I am really thankful to avoid this guy.
I am not reading as much as what I want since my miind is distracted, but right now I am reading 2 Harlequin Romances and a Medical Romance. These two lines just seem to be the right choice...that and suspense of all things (just not dental suspense).
AKA Merri
Family Challenge Team: The Spine Breakers with my dh Glenn AKA Phaedrus