An anthology of twenty three tales
mirror their subject matter, flavorful as a triple burger and fries
and as dangerous as hot grease Fried! is the first project from
horror genre newcomer Graveside Tales.
Fried! starts with "Meat
Drippings" by D.L. Snell, the story of a young man stuck in a
job at a burger joint with coworkers who are more than willing to
serve him up to minimize their own workload. With a zombie-inspired
roaming pack of cannibal bums on the loose Kevin's co workers can't
even make sure he gets home safe, exiling him as outside their social
status. When Kevin stumbles into a random attack by a homeless bum
his job becomes a benefit and an eventual way out of his lackluster
life. This tale doesn't follow the expectations it sets up from the
first line, which keeps the reader in a dark suspense, and only
suffers from a poorly segued nightmare sequence that leads the reader
to question if the final climax is a dream or not from the sudden
jump between scenes.
"Bad Fish" by Gregg Winkler
serves up an appetizer of unique voice and follows it with a main
course of darkly amusing story. When Curtis and his brother take over
their father's fish restaurant Curtis has the great idea to offer a
"15 Pound Special" where the locals could come in and get
any fish they caught over fifteen pound fried up by the cooks. Curtis
thinks it's a great idea, but his brother is worried about the
effects of cooking up a bad fish. When they finally do run into one
of the foulest of the lake dwellers it's not the sort of "bad
fish" one might normally expect.
"Station 19" by Michael
Josef is the first completely serious tale in the line up and the
best over all. While awkward in prose at times, perhaps because it's
both first person and present tense, it couldn't be written any other
way and capture the same feel. Here the restaurant isn't serving the
people, but instead is a well manned, well baited trap for the
zombies that live outside the perimeter of the town. Once their
ingrained instincts call then into the blood scented, familiarly
shaped building the humans close in and mow the zombies down, all in
an effort to keep their town disease free. After the light tones of
the previous pair of stories this one hits the reader hard, using
both the life we know, and the zombies we know in a wonderful new
way.
"Red, Yellow and Green" by
Christopher J. Dwyer is the unlikely tale of a carnivorous ball pit.
While interesting it doesn't move much past the concept or
explanation stage, falling a little short of what it could be.
The title character in "The
Drain" by Michael Hultquist is a voice that emanates from the
sink of foul greasy spoon, casually telling main character Billy that
his girlfriend is cheating on him and that his father is setting him
up for sexual abuse by forcing him to remain in a job with a boss who
hit on him. The only logical way to solve the problem is a killing
spree of course. A familiar story in the trenches of horror, abuse
and hopelessness due to feeling helpless, the story is competently
written, but brings nothing new to the menu.
"Veggie Burger" by Bret
Jordan is too short, too told rather than shown. The idea of an
innocent looking veggie patty, chock full of strange seeds, and the
strange people peddling the burgers with impossible green eyes, is
intriguing, and has potential. But monologues of explaining almost
never go off well in such a short space. Perhaps the future will
bring a more in depth story from Jordan which is more of a meal than
a free sample.
"Sugar Pie, Honey Pie" by
Shanna Germain is a more subtle tale, weaving together beehive
mentality, fast food and a touch of bitterness. It stars a young
single mother trying to do better for herself and her daughter, to
break away from her ailing sister who is supporting them, by training
to become a manager at Bee's Burgers. As the reader can guess there's
more to Bee's than it seems and the name isn't a marketing device,
but an allusion to the chain's true nature. What is most enjoyable
about this story is how the author weaves a sad sense of hopelessness
into the new Queen-in-Training's life, making a last minute threat by
the hive merely the straw that breaks the camel's back rather than
the sole motivation for the new Bee.
"Something in the Water" by
H.F. Gibbard is the tale of a fast food place gone nuts, at first it
seems, due to a strange cult that wanders into the restaurant after
their revival. But there's no supernatural cause to this insanity,
instead it's just a biological one, reminding readers that devouring
isn't the only way hidden danger can enter the body.
The tale of fast food icon coming back
to show his disapproval of being modernized "An Army Marches on
its Stomach" by Andy Kirby is too short, but packed with a
strong sense of dark dread.
"The Applicant" by Kevin
Lightburn is a straight forward, amusingly-overwritten slice of life
story about about kid getting a job at a local burger joint. While
the prose is dramatic, the plot is not, but it could have been if it
centered around the narrator's musings about the nature of the
restaurant and its manager.
"Clipped" by Jodi Lee is the
only non-theme tale in the story. It is, however a tale of
consumption, specifically a tale of pica, the compulsion to eat
nonfood items. Norman, an accountant working alone one night is quite
creepy in both his obsession with coworker and the pica. Like other
stories in this book the tale could have been strengthened if pica
was part of a progressive storyline rather than making it the story
itself.
"The FNG" by James Patrick
Cobb is almost the reverse of the previous story "The
Applicant". Instead of a deceptive, deadly manager, it's the new
employee, hired to work nights, that has a bizarre, dark secret. The
author leads the reader well, as through the "FNG" he
warns everyone, but the outcome is still unexpected.
"The Playspace" by Cody
Goodfellow is stuffed full of fast food and parenting nightmares,
from an over worked single dad very firmly under his toddler's thumb
to secret parts of those twisting plastic play tubes. Theo's fear of
screwing up his daughter's life by failing to expose her to other
children or play alone experiences is a driving factor, along with
the undertones that his darling girl might not have the sweetest of
natures. When screams come from the playground Theo isn't sure if his
daughter has hurt someone, or is her herself, but hidden in depths of
the tubes is something Theo would have never expected. A bit messy at
moments it is rather fun to see a dark, twisted version of Baby
Einstein.
Rodney J. Smith's "Take Away"
is the tale of a young backpacker who stops in a lonely dinner for
some fast money to continue his travels. A bloodless addition to the
anthology, "Take Away" is a metaphor for the endless,
repetitive jobs found inside fast food doors.
"A Bad Case of the Meat Sweats"
by Stephen Leclerc is a bizarre tale of "You are what you eat".
As a man sits at his regular seat in his favorite restaurant reality
takes a break and the man starts to hallucinate that he is morphing
into the entrees. This one is for fans of the surreal and the
bizzarro subgenres.
"Shift Change" by David
Dunwoody is another tale of the truly bizarre, centering around a
series of people all with a link to a fast food store. The scattered
tale is like describing a dream, with a logic all its own, and leaves
the reader feeling as if the tale has slipped through their fingers a
moment faster than they can grasp it.
Lisa Becker's "Meat" is a
moody piece about fading redneck whose past time is driving through
the back roads with his best buddy, looking to make some roadkill.
His rather vicious, but good natured idea of fun is soured when he
discovers his friend isn't quite who he thinks he is when their
latest piece of meat is something bigger than an ambushed deer.
Becker weaves Clem's horror into the tale well, along with the
shaking effects of a mid-story head wound.
"Snailwart" by MP Johnson is
just ew, ew, ew. A psychotropic journey from something as simple as
buying a pet to mutilation and gore this one has fast food, gross out
and a powerful off-kilter feel. One of the best in the book.
Cheryl Rainfield's "Comfort Food"
is the tale of a girl who finds herself at a typical fast food place,
with her father for their weekly breakfast out. Only she can't
remember how she got there or where she was the night before. With a
plot out of a made-for-TV movie "Comfort Food" is laced
with mental drama, inaction and a sudden, somewhat convenient end.
"Lunchtime at the Justice Cafe"
by Ken Goldman is down home viciousness. McAllister is a salesman
who stopped at a tiny off-the-map town for a sale and a meal and
finds far, far more than he can handle. Sweet and bitter as rotted
fruit Goldman's got the twisted hick tale down.
"Happinex" by KJ Kabza is a
mix of hallucinations and fast food, the tale of a guy, trying to
drug himself into normalcy which means a job slinging burgers in a
haunted restaurant. The ghosts are almost out of context, mentioned
and used for "Are they real or not?", "Is he crazy or
not?" tension. The characters and the plot aspects fail to
completely congeal, setting up readers to leave this story as
uncertainly as they began it.
"The Bocan" by Joel A.
Sutherland a little girl meets a grim, wicked version of a fast food
mascot when left unattended by her mother in the play area. Readers
will be hard pressed to feel any sympathy for the mother, who only
seems to be there to complain. As for the child herself, faced with
tough choices there are no surprises in her answers, self-profiting
and manipulated by a creature she doesn't understand, little Faith
will likely never forget this particular trip for a meal.
Summing up the anthology is "Feeding
Frenzy" by Matt Hults, possibly the longest story in the book.
Ron and Greg are drawn to a burnt out restaurant on the edge of the
highway, up for sale, cheap and only requiring a bit of work before
it's ready to go. But as soon as the men and the Realtor, Wendy, are
inside customers start showing up and the restaurant starts
regenerating itself. "Feed the customers... Obey the rules!"
a sign on the wall says and Greg, Ron and Wendy quickly find
themselves trapped in a fast food hell where the in the junk food
slinging life there isn't a metaphor for a soul sucking job or a
statement on the gullibility and greed of humans, there's the rules
of life and death itself. A strong end to the book this one's worth
skipping a head for.
"Fried! Fast Food, Slow Deaths"
isn't a book for the awards circuit or those who want to push the
genre into bold new spaces. Fried! is an anthology of guilty
indulgences, B-movie and made-for-TV tales that much like the theme,
we know we shouldn't consume in such vast quantities, but we do
anyway.
