Got an Issue? Let it out!

I haven't done this in a while so... I'll start it off. What bothers me?

Hair. No, really. "Raven haired heroines" my ass. Unless the heroine
is black, or asian, she does not have naturally black hair. She might
have super dark hair - like Catherine Zeta Jones, or Selma Hayek, but
it's not black. Black hair, would be like Lucy Liu, or Michelle
Williams. To add insult to injury, the "black as coal haired heroines"
- and be honest- these span all genres- have all sorts of exotic eye
colors. Like purple, turquoise, etc. Show me a real woman with
naturally black hair with blue eyes, and I'll show you someone wearing
color contacts.

Also, hair that "goes down a heroine's back." Especially pony tails.
She's steeped in realism, so Limecello would appreciate the same from
authors. If a heroine has hair long enough for a pony tail to reach her
hips... her hair let down is to her knees. That's not very sexy. And
ridiculously heavy. Another pet peeve, going along with hair, is the
makeover. The nerd-to-beauty queen makeover, where the heroine dyes her
hair blonde, and BAM. She's HAWT. Oftentimes, aside from the obvious,
this does not work. Certain people, are not meant to be blonde.

Then again, there's the shoes.

shoes
I've worn heels every day since eighth grade. Ok, I fess up, the
chunky heel. Still, there's height. And I took a break in college. 5+
miles a day in any sort of heels = sad and ugly feet.But in many books,
heroines who have never worn a pair of pumps in her life slips on
stilettos, and magic. Please. I've never worn
stilettos. I'd die. Our heroine would not be stomping around
gloriously, collecting male hearts falling at her feet. She would be
hobbling around, if she could still move, with her feet cut up,
blisters all over, and possibly bleeding.
shoe

Do you ignore it when something completely unrealistic happens in a book? Or do you just let it go?

For example, sex on cars. [I don't even want to talk about sex while
driving.] Super hot, total fantasy, right? Definitely according to
certain books. But what if the sex scene happens after a drive with the
hero and heroine hopping out of the car and going to town on the hood.
I don't know if you've ever taken a long drive- but ever accidentally
touch the hood of the car afterwards? Ouch. Yes, there's a reason why
there's "driving cuisine" - the engine gets so hot you can cook food on
it. Having sex on that car immediately after a drive? No, not a way to
get you there - it's a way to get you to the emergency room.

Now, don't even get me started on food mentioned in books. I just
have to say... in this day in age, especially when it's so popular and
trendy... sushi is not raw fish.

Sashimi, is raw fish.
sashimi
Sushi, often contains sashimi, but it's not requisite.See? No sashimi in this sushi.
sushi

A character who goes "Sushi? Ew, raw fish? No way!" Or even "I've
never had sushi... but I guess I'm willing to try raw fish." Annoy me.
A lot. If you're going to have sophisticated characters do wild and
exotic things, make sure they aren't going to commit a faux pas.
Totally ruins the worldly sophisticate image.

I won't go on. So, what relatively minor and inconsequential thing
(or major issue) have you noticed in books or about books that gets
your goat? :mrgreen:

(And I know a lot of you like to poke holes in my posts, haha, I didn't flesh every issue out for the sake of space -and I took out pictures, but... let's go!) Also... I cross posted this, so if you wish to see what other people said, you can read it here

Tags

I agree...

with some of your points. I will address some of them and add my own comments.

Unless you belong to certain ethnic groups (aisian, native american) nobodies hair is really that black.  My roommate (mexican american) has hair so black it reflects blue highlights).  but she is 25, and things are bound to change once she starts having children.  And she is no Crystal Gayle.  It doesnt drag on the floor.

There is a Philipino woman in my office that has hair down to the backs of her knees.  She says she has always worn it long.  She is used to it.  And she has become part of her identity.  She will never cut it.

I agree not everyone is supposed to be blonde or red haired....and when they  color their hair, they look stupid.

I have known dark people with light eyes and vice versa. Even black people with light eyes.  My dad with golden tan skin and hazel eyes.   When he was in school, they called him Harry Belafonte (for you younsters, look him up).  My own eyes are what I call Hazel Brown.  With my dads Hazel eyes and my moms brown eyes, my eyes came out somewhere in between.  It just depends on the light.

one thing that bugs me, like in the movie/play "Grease". In order to get the boy/man, you have to become a slut.  Why did she have to change?

Shoes?  I have never worn high heels.  My ankles and feet just dont stand for it.  In high school, i wore smal heels or wegies....platforms even.  But now,  no way.  I dont understand the obsession with shoes.  I only wear them when i absolutely have to.  I dont understand closets full of shoes.

Here in Los Angeles, Sushi is all the rage.  I personally dont like it so I dont eat it.  yes sushi doesnt mean "raw fish" anymore that "ala mode" means "With ice cream".

I know alot of things sound hot and sexy on paper, but in practice, i dont think them so practical.

Sex on the beach?  Ewww I dont want sand  in certain places....sand fleas? sea weed? yuck

Satin sheets?  Wouldnt you slide out of bed?

Hot tub?  I dont think so.

on the hood of a car, or in the back seat.  not my cup of tea.

I think my biggest pet peve is that if a woman is a virgin, that she is some how sweet and innocent....nieve to the ways of the world.  That some how, the act will make her worldly and sophisticated.

Well thats my 1 and a half cents. Cool

Terri
Got Books?

Yay!

Hi Terri,

Thanks for adding your 2 cents! (inflation Wink). People jumped down my throat about the black hair. And I wanted to be like - "look no, I'm sorry. They don't have black hair. It might seem black, but it's not." In fact, I have two shades of hair. Some of it is the very very dark black - but it's duller and... more brown. The other- is black. Shiny black blue black - crazy black. [My hair looks like it should belong to 3 people - and I have enough hair for the same number.] - There is "Black Irish" - but... people just didn't want to hear the differences.

Hair to her knees?!?! Jenkies! I know it's possible - I've had a friend who has always worn her hair past her hips. My hair is generally long enough to go down my back - but I donate it whenever I can. It's 3/4 down my back now, and gets in the way of EVERYTHING. I think I'd only grow my hair to my knees for a bet (with a huge monetary prize) -and I'd consider shaving my head after.

 Hehe - I didn't even think about sex on the beach. LOL aiyah. 

I know a woman ....

who had hair down to her butt.....she cut it all off to her shoulders, and donated 4 feet of hair to "Locks of Love".

I have always worn my hair longish.. between my shoulder blads mostly, but much longer than that, and it gets split and dry.

Terri
Got Books?

Hm

Terri,

I always donate my hair to Locks of Love - usually 12-14" inches [I like leaving my hair long enough to still put up.]

I'm.... skeptical though -hair down to her butt and a 4 foot donation? Unless she had like a 5' torso... I'm not seeing it. (Or if she kept her hair for a while then took it all in at the same time?) The longest I let my hair get was sophomore year in college, if I was sitting on the ground and my hair was down, it would touch the ground. And I only know this because a few times my friend inadvertantly pinned me. Ouch.

LOL, I've sat on my

LOL, I've sat on my hair--ouch! I was in nursing school at the time and we had to wear it up whenever in the hospital. When I did let it down it was mid thigh level. Dumped a boyfriend, cut the hair, felt like a new woman.Wink

Sex on the beach has been a major euw for me. Undecided Sand in places that it just doesn't belong, yuck.

Books that make a big deal about the heroines weight, either too slender, or too fat--especially when the 'too fat' is a recent 10 pound weight gain.Yell

A heroine who is described as petite, under 5'2" and she has incredible, long legs. Come on...how realistic is that? I don't even consider my legs incredibly long and I'm 5'6".

Nancy

RE: GOT AN ISSUE?

Of course, there's also the Hero with the hairy pecs, washboard abs, slim hips, and the way too tight jeans -- and it's ALL NATURAL -- he doesn't go to the gym, but yet he was a jock stud that all the girls loved in high school until that one rainy night with our heroine -- then he left ton unexpectedly.  But now he's back to carry on the family construction business because his father is terminally ill...  Will our heroine reveal the secret our Hero left her with seven years ago?  How long can she keep her secret from him?  Is our Hero -- Bryce McCallahan -- Daddy material?  Are the sparks that fly between Bryce and Tamara (our heroine) anger, or love mixed with a dose of lust?

As Tamara goes running down the beach, her long, waist-length, black hair flowing behind her, Bryce slips out of his dockers and is left wearing his BILLIONAIRE'S country club tennis outfit, for running in it is easier.  He has never taken a tennis lesson in his life, though he plays like a pro, and all the sports stars that are members of his country club wish to have him as a doubles partner.

Tamara contines to run down the beach in her knee-length gray skirt and peach-coloured silk blouse, though the 'lines' in back of her black silk stockings, covering her long, curvaceous legs on her petite five-foot-two-inch frame are beginning to lose themselves in her Calvin Klein Alligator skin sling-back stilettos.

"I went to a FIGHT the other night...and a HOCKEY GAME broke out!! "
HockeyDET@comcast.net

Aliquis

Maybe I exagerated....but it was a lot of hair.

She lives in Arkansas and I live in California.  So i dont see her all the time.  But the next time i  did see her, i didnt recognize here.....it was like she was a whole new person.

Terri
Got Books?

More Issues

All these "Millionaires"  never seem to be at work.

Very few people in romance novels never seem to be at work.  These people seem to have lots of free time.

Or, very few people have normal jobs.   How many teachers, secretaries, waitresses, busdrivers, etc, are there?

If there are just ordinary people with normal jobs,  it is usually the woman, and she is thought low class and then the Mllionaire man, who "rescues" her from that "horrible" life.

Then there is the fact that everyone in romance books are drop dead gorgeous.   Dont average jane and Joe need love too? Where are the dumpy middle aged folks who meet at the supermarket, and bond while picking out a watermelon?. Do Ken and Barbie get to have all the fun?

I dont mean they have to be the unemployed construction worker and the single mom on food stamps, but it  could work.

 

 

Terri
Got Books?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sorry, I'll get to the other comments, but HOCKEYJOCK! That was absolutely hilarious! Oh my gosh, I couldn't stop laughing (and out loud)! How very definitely right and spot on! I loved it! We should write a romance spoof some day Laughing

LOVED IT!!! 

Oh goodness hahaha!

I just come along this blog and have to agree with alot that I have read on here. I have always scratched my head over white women with black hair with no kind of hispanic or asian, native american background with hair so black its blue. Or how about the red heads who have perfect tan skin? Don't most redheads burn easily because of their sensitive skin? Even blondes? The ones with the white or silvery blonde hair(with the exception of paranormals or fantasies) I'm talking about normal women with that color hair with ofcourse perfect tanned skin, big boobs..in this day in age that hair is bleached and the boobs are fake. The hair down to the waste has always bothered me too I know when my hair gets too long it becomes very hard to manage. And with all that hair how about the sex it would get all in the way when kissing or just moving around it should be in their mouths, tangled in his or her hands.

One pet peeve I have is when you are reading a adventure romance and the H and h are hot and sweaty and have been days without a shower due to being stuck in a jungle or something like that and they have sex? I'm sorry that is not sexy!  Or when they wake up after spending the night together and start making out...ummm morning breathe!!!

I one time read about a sex scene that took place in a race car after the H won a race and he was doing a victory lap with her in there with him. Has anyone ever seen the inside of a stock car??? How on EARTH did they manage to fit her on top of him?? lol I could go on and on!

People who look down on others are the real freaks of this world.

Things that bug me

Sex in a Stock Car? How in the world?  What gets me is when the heroine has real long hair and she doesn't braid it and it's smooth in the morning. I use to have long hair to my shoulders and I had the dickens of the time getting the tangles out. There is one book I love by Eloise James it's called I think An Affair Before Christmas. where the heroine disliked sex because her head itched. Eloise James was right on when writting that book because of the fashion of feathers and stuff glued into the hair. Any way the heroine thought her husband wanted her hair to be beautiful in bed so she kept it up, but it made her head itch.

My cousin's ex had hair down to her knees and it took hours to get it dry.

Shell

Sheandeen

Great points! Wow - sitting on hair must be bad. I remember I got my hair caught in chairs all the time in elementary school - and my hair is generally long - so I get pinned all the time- accidentally, rest my elbow on it, etc etc the list goes on.

And - that's so great! I love how "small" [yet big] changes can make you feel like a new person! I usually donate my hair whenever I can.

As to the beach sex- good point. Sand and grit... not sexy.

Terri

Good point- all those tycoons seem to be able to drop everything and just play and be playboys - I'd like to know how they manage to... continue being management types!

 And you're right- even if there's a "plain jane" heroine - put her in some new clothes or something, and bam she's super hot! Psh.

Moonsong

Hi! Welcome and thanks for stopping by my blogs! :D Very good point about the hair and skin color. Of course, it wouldn't be sexy for the author to describe her heroine as being pumped full of silicon, collagen and the like. :P Or to be a peroxide blonde.

 And b.o. - ew. Yes. Ew. Even when it's super hot - the book will go on and on about how it's so hot and steamy and muggy - and... that doesn't make a person amorous - that makes a person want to sit in an ice bath.

As to sex in the stock car... ??? Does not compute! Tongue out

Shell

Hi! Thanks for stopping by! :) 

Good point - normally I have hair halfway down my back. I grow it to nearly my hips... then I donate it. [This is why hair is such a big deal for me - I live it. I don't think a lot of authors writing about all this hair have experienced it.]

My hair is hopeless. It looks like it belongs to 4 people [I have really thick hair. some of it is curly, some wavy, some straight - and blarrgh]. I use TONS of conditioner, and pretty much always wear it up. Always. 

 If I don't blow dry my hair at all, it can take 6 or more hours to dry. Blech. 

LOL

I just can't resist...

Of course you can have sex on a beach and avoid the nasty bits -- just don't get down in the sand. ;)

And as to heat, I looove summer. Love heat, humidity, and the smell of suntan lotion... love the desert, and all of that good stuff, so you know, to each their own. ;> It's hard to say what's sexy to one person, could be different for someone else.

As for jobs, I think a lot of Blaze heroes/heroines (and most Supers) have very normal jobs.

My pet peeve is when people appear to have super powers -- for instance, there's a book I loved, but there was a scene where she saw his freakin' eyelashes and how thick they were, etc, from a balcony on her beach house. Either she had super human eyesight, or he had lashes like Daisy the cow. ;)

Sam

Coming June 2009: Sam's Blaze Texas Ranger is HARD TO RESIST!
Blog with Sam and friends at Love Is An Exploding Cigar
Guest Blog: Oct 8, Jennifer Lewis

Sam

Hello! Thanks for stopping by - LOL very creative solution to sex on the beach/not really having sex on the beach. Or, having sex on the beach would take a lot of finesse. Not something I have to worry about, however, because I don't think I've been to a beach in 15 years. Well, not really.

 As for the heat- you're making me think dry heat. [Of course, after 86, I'm a sad girl, really.] I unfortunately, tend to experience wet/muggy heat. Swamps, islands, etc.  I always joke I need to live in a climate controlled bubble Wink. My parents.love heat -but of course they grew up on a subtropical island.

Good point about the Blaze heroes - it's nice to have some normalcy. [Of course, they're always the best at what they do. They're not just SEALs, they're super SEALs.  

As to the eyelashes... *snort*! I actually snickered when I read what you wrote. Hahaha. I'm picturing... or trying to picture those eyelashes - and/or imagining you know, those SUPER huge eyelashes models sometimes have to wear, that almost hit at the mouth? *chuckle* I hope I happen upon that book. I'll get a good laugh.  

At Face Value

I tend to get lost in the story and don't pay much mind to the little details like hair color/length, jobs, etc. I take things like that at face value as I tend to build my own picture of the characters in my head regardless of how the author describes them.

I do, however, get annoyed at the "make-over" concept...she's fat or "plain" and he doesn't notice her. She loses weight/updates her wardrobe and hair and he's hot for her. I get annoyed at HIM for being shallow and HER for wanting someone so shallow.

"It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept."
Jana's Off-site blog
September's Member of the Month

Interesting

Hi Jana, thanks for dropping by. I generally allow for great artistic license in books. [Unless it's patently ridiculous or wrong.] The hair will get an eye roll from me, but that's mostly it. [Ok, so I might scoff a bit more.] But I won't let it really affect how I feel about the book. I think the hair thing mostly bothers me because it's so cliche.

I don't like the "makeovers" you're talking about either. And you're right- sad that such shallowness is almost "glorified" - b/c yay! The heroine will get her man -and all she had to do was completely change her physical appearance!

I just sort of ignore the

I just sort of ignore the details thinking it is not supposed to be realism. I tend to notice more when a romance author does somerthing like make the heroine older or taking care of an elderly parent or not thin. I do appreciate that very much, because it is different and I think it is positive to see that.  I read fantasy and all sorts of fiction so I just don't read for realism one way or the other.

My boarding school roommate had very long hair, longer than her read end even with curls. It was real. I could never get mine that long. My cousin's was close to that long.

I think what bothers me the most is the ethnic and women and blonde ortrayals on television which I find inane and grossly playing into derogatory stereotypes.

Riding horseback on the beach is fun, but other than that, the beach is not a romantic place to me...heat, sand chafing the skin, tar getting on the feet and the sand on the East Coast (as compared to Bermuda where it is finer) hurts to ealk on with the crushed shells.

 

AKA Merri
Family Challenge Team: The Spine Breakers with my dh Glenn AKA Phaedrus

Maybe I'll get jumped on

Maybe I'll get jumped on for this but I went to school with one girl who had really, really, black fair, fair skin and blue eyes. I'd definitely say she qualified as raven haired although others may disagree. Then again I think I've seen a couple of other people with the same colouring. I think they're Irish. It could be a matter of perception but it seemed pretty darn black to me. That could be because I'm blonde but I don't think so. Regardless raven-haired may be cliched which is a pretty good reason for a writer to avoid that description anyway but it's also a matter of perception.

As for someone whose never worn high heels being able to dash around in stilettos I'm with you on that one. It would read way better to me if I saw this person hobbling around at some pt looking desparately for a blister cure and some way to stop the pain.

Pat 

 

Yay!

This post is still going! I don't know how I missed them.

Hm... I have VERY HIGH tolerance and a LOT of capacity for suspended belief. But once the author crosses that line... all bets are off. OFF! Haha.

 Pat- interesting. It might be perception. I know there is the "black Irish" - some authors jumped in on that one. I googled a lot lot lot of "black hair" pictures [got interesting results] - and sometimes, people's hair looked very black, but it wasn't quite the same. I did and will admit it's pretty nit picky. 

 Oh books. Sometimes we believe crazy things. [Hello paranormals?] But - there are just something that are "eh."

Nothing to do with black hair/appearance...

I recently read a Harlequin that irritated me because the author used the same line over and over: 'she replied pithily.' I was going to scream after the 10th time of reading the same phrase. (I was actually anticipating it everytime the heroine spoke.)

Another line from another Harlequin was in every single love scene and I knew it was coming. (Not telling that one or most people will guess the book.)

I am going over my latest WIP to see if I have any 'favorite' phrases I over use.

AngelSmile 

"I can fix a bad page, but I can't fix a blank one." Nora Roberts
www.angelinabarbin.blogspot.com

Angel

Good call -sometimes we just forget things. When I write I notice I might overuse some words. There was a book I was reading, and there were so many italics. I wanted to rip my hair out. I went back to the excerpt online and counted forty four italics in a simple excerpt. I flipped open to a few random pages in the book - and on average, there were eight italicized words per page. Considering, that is a LOT and I was so fed up. I had to put it down and haven't picked it up since.

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