I had the sad job today of tossing out the flowers my husband bought me for our anniversary last week. I did save as a memento one rose that had dried in a pretty and delicate way. I wanted to savor his sweet gift just a little longer.
You see, although I know my husband loves me and he shows it in his own...er, unique way, his traditionally romantic gestures are few and far between. He's an engineer, much more prone to practicality and fiscal responsibility than romantic gestures. He just doesn't "get" why romantic things are important to me. He loathes shopping, making extra stops on the way home from a long day at work, and "caving to commercialism".
Usually for my birthday/anniversary/Valentine's/fill-in-the-blank other special occasions, he'll compose a humorous but sweet poem for me which he'll doctor up with a few graphics from his computer. I actually love that, because it is heartfelt, and he spent his time doing it. Those homemade cards mean the world to me.
But for some reason this year he went the store-bought card route (which he couldn't give me without a comment on how corny it was and how much it cost) and brought home a dozen roses of various colors. The flowers were gorgeous! I was deeply moved. He scored big-time brownie points. Not because he "caved to commercialism" (Remember I said I love his homemade cards), but because I know how much stopping to buy the flowers and card was out of his comfort zone. He wanted to surprise me with the romantic gesture (And he did!) and bought the card because, I guess, he didn't have time to make the homemade card and didn't want to be empty handed or it was what he thought I'd want. Either way, as they say, it was the thought behind the card that touched me. He cared enough to move out of his comfort zone for me. (And the flowers were really nice too!)
Don't tell him this, but I don't mind (much) that his romantic gifts or gestures are rare, because he does plenty of other stuff regularly that shows me he cares, that he's thoughtful and that he is thinking about me. I have a man who helps with housework (Without being asked!), a guy who'll make a special trip out to exchange a birthday gift CD at bedtime because he wants me to have the right CD to listen to in the car for my out of town trip the next day, a guy who gives the most awesome backrubs and knows how to make me laugh. (Oh, and while he usually goes for guy-movies where stuff blows up, he freely admits to liking and will watch over and over with me EVER AFTER, the Drew Barrymore version of Cinderella- because the step-mother and step-sister get their just desserts at the end!)
Romance comes in many forms. While I was thrilled with my roses, the truth is, my dh does sweet 'untraditionally' romantic things every day. I'm a lucky gal!
So what do you think the definition of romance is? What has your significant other done that is untraditionally romantic?
And does anyone else have an engineer husband who just doesn't "get" why I love romance books and why I get teary at the end of Disney's "Enchanted"?
Happy Wednesday!
Beth
Beth Cornelison- www.bethcornelison.com
DUTY TO PROTECT- Silhouette Romantic Suspense- July 2008
RANCHER'S REDEMPTION- Silhouette Romantic Suspense- Oct 2008
Beth, I'm with you
My husband is also an untraditional romantic -- for instance, I love flowers, but I have a lot of garden space, so he hasn't bought me flowers since we met -- but he does buy me beautiful vases. ;)
The funniest story I have is the speedbag -- you know the little bag boxers use that they hit really fast? He bought me one of those for xmas one year -- the most completely unromantic thing you could imagine, right? And he'd been building up hints about it for weeks, and I couldn't imagine what he bought, and I was *so*
disappointedflabbergasted... it was the first time I just had no idea what to say. I was literally speechless -- who buys this for their wife?Well, he likes to be original, and we do try to buy each other things we think that really shows we know the person, not just generic gifts. And he's on his own -- he does his own shopping, his own wrapping, etc with no input. No lists, etc. but where he came up with this I couldn't fathom.
So he tells me he remembered a conversation in the car once about three years before when I had mentioned a friend of mine who was taking boxing, and it was a good workout and looked like fun. So he thought a speedbag would be a great gift.
It ends up that I LOVE the thing -- it's a great workout and a good stress reducer, but the real gift there was that he had remembered a two minute conversation that we had in the car from three years before -- this is a man who really listens and remembers, and there's not much more romantic than that, at least to me. :)
Sam
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Sam
Sam-
A husband who listens! Hang on to that guy! :-)
Love your speedbag story!
Beth C
Beth Cornelison- www.bethcornelison.com
DUTY TO PROTECT- Silhouette Romantic Suspense- July 2008
RANCHER'S REDEMPTION- Silhouette Romantic Suspense- Oct 2008
Beth, your DH sounds like my
Beth, your DH sounds like my DH. Ever practical, rarely (read:never) romantic.
"Perhaps what the average member of a group is capable of doesn't limit what a given individual can accomplish." -- Boston Globe, letter to the editor
March's Member of the Month!
Beth, take him to see Wall-E
Beth, take him to see Wall-E -- it's a romance that even an engineer will find sweet.
Werefan
Did you like Wall-E, Werefan? My son wants to see it. I might have to drag the dh along if you think he'd like it.
Thanks for the tip!
Beth C
Beth Cornelison- www.bethcornelison.com
DUTY TO PROTECT- Silhouette Romantic Suspense- July 2008
RANCHER'S REDEMPTION- Silhouette Romantic Suspense- Oct 2008
Yep. I loved it. Pixar
Yep. I loved it. Pixar made a winner with this; it's almost a silent film for the first half-hour or so, and the characers' body language and expressions communicate more than simple dialogue could manage. The romance is sweet, and if nothing else the sci-fi geek draw of 'Robots in space' will win him over.
The sweetest gifts are those that are unexpected!
My DH is also the practical gift giver. I must admit he does have his moments. I still have the "Latin Lady" roses he bought me for our 5th anniversary (he HATES buying flowers, when I see flowers in his hands I always think something terrible has happened.) Four years ago he bought me three Barbie Dolls for christmas. The Rose (she atually looks like a red rose), Princess of the Nile (because she has long black hair like mine, sigh!) and Princess of the Sun (on good days he says I light up his days). Sure beats the blender, salad shooter and ice tea machine (HE Drinks the Tea!). It's those unexpected sweet gifts thatmake the one that leave you scratching your head
bearablehumorous. Mines a keeper.