I’ve always thought of myself as fairly down to earth, a not-out-to-impress, kind of gal. I’ll go to the store in sweats with my hair in a ponytail and no make-up. I generally wear my clothes until they’re worn out or are so horrendously out of style even I notice. Hey, I wear mukluks to the dog park in winter. How vain can I be, right?
But the other night as I attempted to select the right face cream from the, oh, I don’t know, EIGHT jars, tubes, and bottles in my cabinet, I started to realize I’m deluding myself. Either that or I’ve gotten more vain as I’ve aged. Maybe both.
Vanity, I’m beginning to think, can take many forms. So I’ve devised my own quiz. Give yourself one point for every yes answer.
1. You don’t just work out on a regular basis. You have to look good while you’re doing it. No sweats and T-shirts. We’re talking Nike, Under-Armour, Reebok, etc… attire.
2. You own thong underwear. One point. You wear them. Two.
3. You’ve tanned within the last year. (And don’t get snitty here. Tanning beds are a no-brainer. If you had to be outside for a kids sporting event and used sunscreen, it doesn’t count. But if you rearranged the position of your arms to toast evenly, give yourself a point.)
4. You do facial exercises. (Don’t laugh and don’t tell. I do them. If you’re nice, I’ll blog about that on my next scheduled day and teach you a thing or two.)
5. Give yourself a point for every pair of shoes you own with three-inch or higher heels.
6. You NEVER go out of the house without make-up, lipstick, sunglasses, whatever. The point is … there’s something(s) you have to do other than put on clothing before you can go in public.
7. The ladies at the spa/Ulta/Estee Lauder counter know you by name.
8. Wax, for you, is more than just for candles. Ouch! Telly Savalas, anyone?
9. You pluck/wax your eyebrows. If you go somewhere to have someone else pluck/wax your eyebrows give yourself 2 points. (Hey, this is MY quiz. Don’t like it make up your own.)
10. Creams and lotions. This one’s tough to calculate. There are eye creams, night creams, day creams, creams with SPFs, creams with exfoliators and anti-oxidants, facial peels and scrubs. Oh, what the hell. If you use anything other than Juergens on your face, give yourself a point. If you use an eye cream give yourself another point. If you use a night cream, one more.
11. You own any form of lingerie that claims to flatten your tummy, lift your butt, or miraculously produce cleavage. One point for each, ladies.
12. You’re under 40.
13. You’re under 30.
14. You’re under 25. (Yeah, you get 3--count em 3--points if you’re 24!)
15. Botox. Even entertaining the concept is worth at least a point.
Okay, now add 'em up and let’s see how you rate on Helen’s Vanity Scale. This is so scientific, mind you.
1- 9: You’re either very young or have accepted aging much more gracefully than I have. You like yourself just the way you are. I’d say good for you, but you certainly don’t need my validation!
10-19: This is my group. So anyone here is okay. Yeah, you’re probably a little on the vain side, but you’ve got good company. Like I said before, don’t like it, come up with your own quiz.
20 and up: You, honey, are so vain, you probably think this blog is about you. You’re one of those people who ALWAYS looks good. And I hate you for it. Keep up the good work!
Come on, tell us your score. Be brave.
I'd love to send out a copy of my last Super, FINDING MR. RIGHT to anyone who comments between now and July 10th.
Happy 4th, everyone!
Helen
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com

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quiz score
My socre is 6 so it makes sense since I'm only 23.
Well I'm a 9 but I'm not
Well I'm a 9 but I'm not young that's for sure! Great quiz today, thanks
Happy 4th
Penney
Happy reading!
Penney
My score is 7
But I'm not young. Wish I was. I just don't worry to much about myself. My DH tells me that I need to start caring about myself more. I worry more about others and definitely him.
Great quizz.
Happy 4th of July.
Nothing more relaxing than a good book and a cup of tea.
No divas here today!
Nicole, only a 6! Oh, to be 23 again.
Penney and Bookbuff - it's clear you're both aging gracefully. Unlike me. I'm kicking and screaming my way through every birthday!
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
I have 12 points...
only because I have 6 pairs of 3" heels shoes and love wax (seriously Telly Savalas is addictive...lol)
TMI?
Although I have a new respect for you, Emmanuelle! lol You are much, much braver than me!
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
an abysmal 1.5
I always knew I should care more about my appearance, and this little quiz proves it. If it weren't for a couple of trips to the tanning place each summer and the chapstick I use when my lips crack in the winter, I'd have scored a zero.
I've stopped buying cosmetics--I kept throwing them away unopened when they passed their expiration deadline. And I know I should use moisturizer, but I can't seem to make creams and lotions part of my routine.
However, I've started making an occasional trip to the salon to get my nails some professional help, and recently I asked my hairdresser to add some highlights, so there's hope for me yet :-)!
Terry McLaughlin http://www.terrymclaughlin.com
24 (years) and counting...
I didn't even add up my score, not because of vanity, but because I'm older than 24 and it starts taking more and more care. I'm a sucker for products that claim to reverse the ravages of time, lol.
Carrie
WELCOME HOME, DADDY ~ Superromance ~ August 2009
Terry, Terry, Terry ...
A 1.5!!!! I don't even make it past #2 with that low of a score. LOL
And, still, you're beautiful!
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
I'm with you ...
On that one, Carrie. That's what started this whole topic - all the containers in my bathroom cabinet!
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
Do you really want to know?????
I guess I would have to say I scored 0.1.....I use chapstick on my lips sometimes but not often, the only work out I do is mall walking and that's strictly doctor ordered and I don't care what I look like when I do it,
and I am waaaaaaaaay over 40.
December 2008 MEMBER of the MONTH!
A true teacher is a person who, at the end of the school day, still likes children!
I Wasn't Vain Until Number 5
You had to put number five in there. I would have flown under the radar. I have 20 pairs of shoes with three inch or higher heels. I pluck only because I fear waking up one day with a uni-brow. And, I'm 24 on the dot.
But does it count that I go to my corner store in PJs. No shame whatsoever. That has to count against me. :)
Melissa Blue, Romance with Snark
http://www.melissablue.net
Oh Vanity, thy name is KIM
Great quiz, although it's so telling! You've found me out. I was considering a chemical peel before National! That probably ranks up there in the point system. And I'm saving money for my tummy tuck! LOL...hazards of a childhood filled with "pretty" moments. So, yes, vanity is definitely a vice of mine. My dh nearly fell over when he found out how much my moisturizer costs. No off the counter for me. Nope. Sonya Dakar, Brenda Christian, only the good stuff for this face! And I get regular facials, as well as have my eyebrows threaded. (waxing is only for the bikini areas!)
So, yep. So vain...but I love new product!
Kim
Kim's website
A MAN WORTH LOVING, Harlequin Superromance, Nov. 09
TRUSTING THE BODYGUARD, Harlequin Superromance, Apr. 10
TO CATCH A KILLER, Silhouette Romantic Suspense, Aug. 10
I have 5 points and I'm
I have 5 points and I'm almost 50. But 4 of those points shouldn't count. Really! I own thong underwear but I haven't worn them in over 10 years, and ditto for three pairs of shoes with 4-inch heels.
"Saving the future, one presidential edict at a time."
March's Member of the Month--2008
This is fun
Ellen Too - Another woman much more comfortable in her skin than me!
Melissa - subtractions! You want subtractions? Hmm ... I feel another quiz coming on. lol
Kim - a chemical peel - now that sounds like it'd be worth at least a couple points, don't you think? And eyebrows THREADED - what?!?!?! Sounds like you need to do your own quiz!
And Frenchie - lol - I don't wear my thongs either, that's why I threw that in there. Just knowing they're in my drawer makes me feel a teensy bit younger. As for wearing heels over 50 - you should get extra points for that. Not that I'm jealous, or anything.
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
Yes! Subtractions.
There has to be something to balance my shoe addiction. I'm so low maintenance on every other level.
Melissa Blue, Romance with Snark
http://www.melissablue.net
4
My score is 4.
Melissa, dear, you only
Melissa, dear, you only scored a 5. By my book that IS low maintenance. Ask my DH.
Chey, thanks for chiming in.
Boy, I'm surprised. All the high maintenance chicks must be either off getting manis and pedis today, or they're not telling! :)
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
Not Vain Just Can't Count
Lol. I was giving myself a point for EACH pair of shoes.
Melissa Blue, Romance with Snark
http://www.melissablue.net
Oooooh!
Gotcha. I probably shoulda put a cap on how many points for shoes.
It's always good to refine these things.
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
Fun Quiz, Helen
I'm only a 5, 4 of those points from shoes. If I'd done this quiz 10 years ago, you could multiply that score by 10 most likely. I'm not sure if this is ageing gracefully or just that I've given it up as a no-win situation (not to mention expensive.)
Bron
Bronwyn Jameson:
My website; My eHq Blogs
MAGNATE'S MAKE-BELIEVE MISTRESS: Desire July 09
As for wearing heels over
As for wearing heels over 50 - you should get extra points for that.
LOL My point was that I no longer wear them. They make my feet hurt.
"Saving the future, one presidential edict at a time."
March's Member of the Month--2008
Older = vainer
Helen, I am SOOOO with you. I wander out looking pretty discheveled. No makeup. Keep my clothes until they fall apart. (If the eHQ PJ party had a prize for oldest PJ's, I could wear my favorite nightshirt - it's 18 years old, and i know that because I got it for my birthday the year I found out I was pregnant with my son. <G>) Never thought I had a vain bone in my body...but...as age creeps up, I find myself entertaining ideas I never would have before. Like...if I won the lottery, I might just have some plastic surgery. LOL. I never, ever would have even entertained the idea before.
I confess to having a tummy-smoosher. Not one of those heavy-duty ones that you have to do contortions to get into -- I'm not that vain. Not yet. <G> Give me a few more years and we'll see how I feel then. LOL.
Face creams, yes. Do those more often now. Don't do tanning -- don't like the heat, don't like what can happen to your skin. Why invite more wrinkles? <G>
Vanity, thy name is aging woman. LOL.
A Family Recipe (w.t.) - Finn Hawkins' story
July 2010 - Superromance
Semper Fi Guy (w.t.) Hayden Hawkins' story, release date tbd
www.SusanGable.com
a whopping 2
I don't own super high heels - I tried a pair on once and could barely take two steps!
Chapstick (addicted) and Noxzema are my best friends.
Marcie
I'm a 2
I use Oil of Olay at night during the colder months, and I just bought eye lifting/firming stuff today. I'm not very young, but I've pretty much given up and given in to aging. It is what it is. Some of that other stuff (like the lingerie designed to lift or hide or firm) is something I might use if I were thin enough for it to do any good, but I'm not anymore.
By the way, you forgot a big one: You color your hair to hide the gray. I won't say I've never done it, but I've only used the ones that rinse out gradually because I'm just too lazy to keep up with the roots, and, IMHO, having solid color hair at the bottom and gray roots looks far worse than the gray that appears naturally. So, I just let the gray hang out, too, and I have plenty of it.
I am doing a little bit of exercising to try to get back into some semblance of decent shape, more for my health than for my appearance, though I'd love for the appearance to be more appealing, too!
Adopt a shelter pet. Save a life; gain a best friend for life.
View my DD's very public video acting debut at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E-v05kMucw.
July 2009 Member of the Month
Aging gracefully, here
It's very nice to put it that way--not that I'M OLD, (I am, btw) but that I'm aging gracefully. I got a 3. Which pleases me.
Great blog idea, Helen.
Kathryn Shay
Kathryn Shay
www.kathrynshay.com
Ctaching up ...
Hey Bronwyn - we're going to say "aging gracefully" from here on out!
Frenchie - heels make my feet hurt, too, but I sure love the way they look! Last year for the RITA ceremony I wore these gorgeous black sandals that were probably taller heels than I'd ever had. Found a pair of silicone pads for the balls of my feet that SAVED my night. Will probably never wear those shoes again, though. ::sigh::
Susan - Age = vanity works for me, too!
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com
Still catching up ...
Marcie - Oh, Noxzema - takes me back to the sunburns of my youth! I have no clue why they thought that'd work, but it sure felt good!
JV - hair coloring - I didn't know where to begin on that one, so many women color, highlight, lowlight, yada yada these days ... We could do a quiz just about that!
Hey, Kathy! You're a 3 and beautiful!
First Come Twins 8/09
Next Comes Love 10/09
Then Comes Baby 12/09
Along Came a Husband 6/10
www.helenbrenna.com
www.ridingwiththetopdown.blogspot.com