BATCAVE 8: AS THE GUANO TURNS

Yeeha! Finally my staying up all hours of the night has paid off. I feel so validated.

-- Guanna

Dagnabit! That's a bronze medal for me.

Missmell

Always jes outta the medal race....

Oh, well. Numbah 5.

Better than a guano pie in the face...

Number seven...

Of the digital photo frames. 

Just because I want to inflict missouri on those who missed out, here's a picture of my neview, but don't click unless you're prepared for allergy season.

Joshua's picture. 

Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your angel. ((((HUGS))))

I have immunity -- no likey? So sue me. (NYSSM).

*sniff*

My I's are leaking.  My nose is leaking.  Just think, though.  Every moment he was here was so precious to everyone around him. Only a few angels have that.

sLOSH ALL IS NOT LOST. dO NOT PAY THEM. file an amended 1040 use1040X form. show the income and show the additional gambling loss by uping the itemized loss on sched A if it doesn't totally clear it at least it will make the hit very small. Remember I is your friendly bat accountant. 

H&R Blockhead person is bloackhead.  Number may be right what to do about it is wrong. 

Wow, my allergies are back.  }}}DisGracie & Fambly{{{  What a precious little boy.

Tinitis 

Hotbat, try joshua at galaxynet dot com without all the spaces and junk.

doG knows I could use the help. And uncranks to ya.

Slosh

((((((((((Disgracie and family))))))))))))

~~Gator

I'm sending my stuff to HH tomorrow. Spent the last three days redrediting. Jest realized I needed a cover sheet. I'm prolly the only bat to google cover sheets. They are rather basic. I jest don't want this to look poifect or nuthin, so don't fwap or nothin cause I don't want no help.

C4 spent most of his day yesturdday blubbering. C3 was supposta come home from Grannie's, but decided she didn't like the new kitty and wanted to stay till Satireday (NYS) manhandling it. He finally decided the only thing that wouldn't cheer him up was a Webkins. So, we didn't go to the store and buy him a manitee (NYM) Webkins to play with his Hippo (NYH) Webkins on lion. Didn't realize till now how those two relate. We didn't go to Dairy Creep to have Peenut Buster parfets after jest because.

}}}bats what needs em{{{

Had a dreadmill heart test yesturday.  Apparently I'm above average, but my BP is a tad too high and there is thick skin on a bit of the heart.  Not sure watt a thick skinned heart does fur ya.  Or, watt being above average means perzakly.  He increased one of my bp meds, in anycase.

As you weren't. 

Tintits

Right, the guano has turned, so here are the Rools for BatCave 8:

1. All fiends, family, and pets alive at the beginning of Cave 8 must still be breathing at the end of it. No hexeptions. 

2. Spiders or other creepy-crawlies who do not fit into the description of 'pet' are the only things permitted to cease breathing.

3. Bozzes are only permitted to make life cavey for us by offering multiple choices of jobs, luxury hotels, benefit increases so that we whinge (NYW) about having to decide which good benefit/bozz/job/hotel to pick.

4. Likewise, Pooblishers will make our lives temporarily stressful by fighting over riots to our dreck and arguing about who's guano pay the most for it.

5. Clods in the noz and other annoying illnesses are outlawed.

6. Reviewers will blind our batty eyes and make us go <gack> with stunningly glowing reviews of all batty dreck currently out.

7. Bestsmellers R Us. 

8. This shall be the Cave of the Gloat. All bats must Gloat at least once per weak of an aimlessment they (or their 'lings) have aimlessed that weak, and will contend for the title of Most Obnoxious Gloater.

9.  We Are Bats, Hear Us Squeak. This shall be our motto (until somebat comes up with a better one.)

10. Somebat else will have to think of a 10. 

Yep, bard is back and uncranks to Satire for creating a gnu cave and
saving me reading a gazillion old posts. If anybatty popsted anything
in the old cave I oughter read, better squeak up now or forever hold
yer peas.

))))Batbata(((( I so feel for ya batsie. Seven months
on and I still miss ch with every batty cell in me. Do whatever feels
right to you - sleep, cry, yell, punch pillows, remember good times,
don't fight any of it. And find a support group when youse ready. I
couldn't do without mine. Email me anytime at parv at webone dot com
dot au. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepares you for losing your soul
mate. It sucks bigtime.

))))Slosh(((( Guanna passed on our condolences. You take care of you too. And bat luck fixing the tax bill.

))))DisGrace and fambly(((( And )))))Angel((((((. Sometimes there are no words... 

Didn't like meeting bats in SF and LA. Guanna bat is jest like I pictured her,
and we didn't hug fit to burst neither. All them sillybrities were at
Jerry's Famoose Deli, but we wuz only interested in bats.
Lulubrat (her gnu name) isn't a good traveling bat who tooked me to
Hurts Castle, Monterage and Carmelt, and Montyseeno where they filmed
Murder She Wrote. Lots more but I don't dismember much today, only got
home yesterday to find bardmobile needed registering TODAY. Whose
bright ideer was that? Also to have credit card bills get home before I
do?

Very cavey that I bought the book SAVE THE CAT at
conference to find half of it repeated midway. I know Lurid took the
braincell when she left, but even I gnu somefink was wrong there.
Stoopid book. I really want to read it. Also got a ottergraffed
Denise Patrick book and (major gloat alert) my verra own copy of the
Bronbook. Can you see me fondling it? Neener neener, can't stop me.

Valkyrienotsurewhatdayitis

Ooh, a Valkyrie sighting!

Just reading your write-up made me wish I was back at Jerry's hanging out with you. Man, it was cool meeting you, batsie.

I talked to my Mom and she had exterminator come to the house cuz she had a chipmonk in the basement. Exterminator found lots of other problems. Apparently, Mom is living in a safe haven for lots of critters. She said he found bats on her porch. I'd like to know which of youse is visiting my Mom and not telling me! I wanted to be one of the bats on her porch, but I knewed that I wasn't in Wisconsin. Mom's comment was, "I don't want him to hurt the bats. They eat mosquitos." And meat loaf. Mom makes a great meat loaf.

-- Guanna

Sheesh, gnu bats gloating already? I didn't eat sticks dipped
in  chocorat, nor do I eat mosquitoes...eeeww. So it wasn't me in
Wisconsin. I did, howsomever, try some gnu tastes in Merica. At
Eggheads in Montyseeno, I had biscuiits and sausage gravy. Oz bats
don't have anything zackly like biscuits. (What we call biscuits, you
bats call cookies). Wasn't yummy at all and I isn't googling the
riskepee. Also not googling egg creme drink riskepee. No calories, no
fat,no alkyhaul,  jest pure yumminess. I blame lulubrat for
ordering those. And Lurid for making me discover strawburied
margharitas. Can't dismember what I odored in Jerry's. Cept lulbrat
(again) made me buy cookies to take away, then helped me eat them at
her place. Beagle called Chloe kept sniffing my bag til I mentioned the
cookies. Lulubrat perked up and said, You have cookies? Well not for
long, I didn't. She also made me eat sinning man rolls. Sheesh, she was
sposed to be keeping me to my die-it. Shoulda known better.

Valkyriethegnuhippo 

Somebat's been visiting a living room in a house near me- but that bat has... well, HAD...rabies (NYR).

Yuck.

Catty 

That was clearly me, Catty. After all, I'm a danger to everyone around me. If I were you, I'd shoot me and burn the body, for the good of the community. Udderwise all batlings in the vicinity would be in serious danger.

(Got an email from my mother like nothing had happened and it triggered my pissed-off all over again. Betcha couldn't tell.)

Guanna, since I still haven't gotten my Max Factor stuff from BzzAgent, I stink you oughta send me yours.  That way I don't hafta wait any longer.  Whaddya mean, that ain't fair?  When has fair ever had anything to do with the Cave? 

Don't feel like watching the ohlimpdicks. They's recording anyways. I feel like being cranky, and I think I's doing that jest fine.  This is even though I gotted my happy pills refilled today and am taking 'em again after being out of them for 5 days.  Doncha stink this was the perfect weak to run out of my antidepressants?  Yeah, me too.  Grrr, it's a good thing I's a pacifist bat cuz I's still got the urge to hit someone... er, I mean, something... a lot.  Repeatedly.  And really, really hard.

Hmm, a gloat... well, I got a buncha paper for the Aimspawn for skool tonight, does that count? Got 20 packages for $.09 each. Told Vampling that if he runs outta that, he's doing far too much homeshurk and I'd complain for him. He liked that idear a lot until he saw jest how much paper I'd boughted. Then I think the idea of getting anywhere near that much homeshurk depressed him mightily.

Aimless

Couldn't tell Aimless was pizzed off again. Not at all. Bwahaha. 

Not happy to see Valkyrie back, nope. I score the sale of dreck whilst out of the country with a 3/10.

They're STILL doing rentovations next door. Haven't they made enuff mess already? And they're playing their radio loud. So I had my moosic blaring earlier? Whuzztheirproblem? 

I bought MacYuckalls for lunch. Dunno why I want junk food at the moment, but it was certainly junky. Waste of $11.20 really. Well, except for the die-it coke.

Whinges 

I don't have any gloats or even goats today. I got my contract renewal for my class and everything is the same. Only problem is I's supposed to print it out and send in the signed copies but my stoopid printer is outta ink. I knew it was coming but did it have to happen when I had businessy stuff to do? Stoopid thirsty printer.

Valkyrie ate a California-something sandwich at Jerry's. The brat and I were trying to get her to order the Monte Cristo. If the brat ate your cookies, Valkyrie, did she at least give you some of the cookies she bought? It sounds really unfair if she didn't. Of course, I could hop in the car and get a bunch of cookies at Jerry's right now if I wanted. There's a goat (goat = not quite a full gloat).

I just bought baffles (really a mattress pad from a med supply place. Well, it was a lot cheaper than actual baffles but very close to the same thing). I need them to cut down the fan noise from my computer. This is part of my "I have to turn the corner of my living room into a sound studio" program. So far I have brand new baffles and a new microphone coming. I need to get a new mic chord. I also need a second external hard drive with aobut a terrabyte of space on which I can store the enormous sound files. Eventually, I need a new computer cuz this one is old and full. I also need a new chair cuz this one hurts my back. So that's what I has to git in order to really turn the corner of my living room into a fully functional sound studio. I suspect it will take more than the two quarters, one dime, three pennies, and linty piece of hard candy that I currently have in my pocket.

-- Guanna

Whaddya mean, no goat?  There's plenty of those stinkycritters all over the place.  I have bunches of em right across the street.  Every day I hear their stinky selves nnnaaaaaaa nnaaaaa nnnnaaaaaaaaaaaa.  (third naaaaaa always most annoying.)  I would be happy to reduce their numbers by, say, all of em.

 I swoop down.  Grab goats.  Ship Fedex.

 Drink Baileys.

Good Batplan.

Sniped and surpounded by goats. 

So this means Sniper is the goat-to person if we wanna know about goats?

3/10 for my gloat, Whinges? Shirley I can do worser than that?

Valkyrie 

Where ten is disgusting and one is mega gloat worthy?

But yes, I'm being stingy with the scores. I wanna provoke the most offensive caveworthy gloating. 

In other noose, I took myself off grocery fwapping. Kinda like doing that at night. The stupormarket is quieter, hence the whole process is faster. And this way I git all of tomorrow for rioting. I do like this howliday from the day yob thing. Wish it could last forever.

Whinges 

I was thinking of linking to that article to show my students a good example of satire. One of their assignments is to write an example of satire in the journalistic style. Some do better than others.

I'm considering going to sleep.

-- Guanna

this post has been deleted cuz catty's a keyboard-loon