"Sharpening Your Hooks!': A Community Craft Project

Hooks in novels and stories aren't repeated the way they are in songs, but they need to grab the reader in the same way a song hook grabs the listener. 

 Another piece of advice I've read from writers is to leave the reader hanging with a hook at the end of a chapter (otherwise known as ending the chapter in the middle of a scene).  That is supposed to keep the pages turning.  E.g., Lord Hero was just about to go down on one knee to propose to the Honourable Miss Heroine when the hoarse, ragged cry of the butler interrupted him.  (new paragraph) "Fire!"  End chapter.  Would you turn the page?  I know I would! 

(PS, I'm really happy to be able to get here at last!  Good to see you!)

I don't think you should always end your chapters in the middle of a scene. Until you finish your book, there should be more emotional issues between hero/heroine (or in a mystery, more mystery to be solved), so a chapter ending hook can be a reminder that the just ended scene didn't resolve all the issues.

I find if a chapter ends mid scene and then the scene finishes later (either after some boring stuff or at the beginning of the next chapter) I often feel manipulated.

That said, I think some scenes can be cut before the logical end and you never show the end. I had a scene where my heroine pushes the hero away sharply half-undressed, half-way to the bedroom. Cutting it there made for drama and I never got a the second half of the scene to work. So I settled for a wince as she remembered it when a girlfriend asked about the date.

SAO

Thanks, SAO.

Those were posts using the new "blog" functionality here at EHQ. They weren't done in (or for) a specific forum. I thought it would be nice to experiment with the new features. In the process I hoped to write something relevant to both what's going on in my life right now, as well as the lives of the other new and aspiring writers around here.

That said, I see your point about the "bad hair day". Maybe this is why I remember seeing advice that after the first draft of a novel is done, you should simply cut the first 2-3 chapters. It has to do with "show" rather than "tell". In the first few chapters, we "tell" the reader that Marie is an accomplished violinist, whereas by Chapter 3 this is well enough established in our own minds that we simply "show" this to the reader by Marie performing at a concert.

On the other hand, a blog is like a strange combination of diary and editorial page. We're talking about our own experiences, but we're also trying to make the reader think, rather than merely accept the world as we present it. We want them to wonder what they would have done in a similar situation, or we want to persuade them to a new position.

Does this mean we need a different kind of hook for a blog? Most likely, but what should it be?

I agree on titles being key in blogs (and most other works that rely on lists to grab that initial interest). I also try to make the first sentence and/or paragraph hookish as well. That's why I was wondering what was weak about the examples I posted, and how they could be improved.

You know Dee, I've often wondered about the logic behind some of the Harlequin titles, but now I see they are marketing hooks!  Well, duh!  LOL

If I am not fond of greek billionaire stories, I will probably pass over that one when standing infront of the bookshelf, unless I've read all the other releases that normally interest me.  The title helps to spot in an instant the story lines I tend to like.

I must confess, sometimes I am a little selfconscious about reading my Harlequin in some public situations due to the title.  Like say if I'm in the lunchroom at work and the title is somelike "The Boss's Reluctant Mistress"  or "The Boss's Secret Baby."  That's when I bring out the 'old hand over the title' technique.

Melissa

I was told in an advanced fiction class that in a novel you have at most three paragraphs to catch a readers attention--these are words I try to live by. Even when writing chapters I try to make each one begin with something to catch a reader's attention. It's definitely not easy, that's for sure.

Silently she yelled at the door recently slammed shut in front of her.  Who does he think he is?  I hope he rots in...

The force of the door swinging back open knocks her flat on her padded bottom.

I pasted into my post, but apparently I copied part of a WIP in between and accidentally posted it here. 

 So, with that being said, if you'd like to edit go for it!

Hmmm....I may have to find a critique partner!  My co-workers don't like to peer edit.  If I would examine my writing as thoroughly as I examine my students' writing, well, I could have at least cut 3 down to 4!    I'm pretty sure I don't know what an em-dash is....

Going to look it up now!  Thanks for the comments, though!

I just looked up em-dash and now I find there is an en-dash plus my over used hyphen. My brain is about ready to explode so I will bookmark the page and read it again later.

An em dash gets it name because it's the same width of the letter M in typesetting. An en dash is the width of the letter N. 

From "The Mac is not a Typewriter" by Robin Williams (no, not the actor—and the book is for anyone using a computer who might have "grown up" using a typewriter, which doesn't have all the typesetting keys you get with a computer/word processor).

Hyphen (-) is strictly for hyphenating words or line breaks.

En dash (–) [option or alt hyphen] is used between words indicating a duration, such as hourly time. It is also used when you have a compound adjective.

Em dash (—) [option – shift or alt – shift hyphen] is used often as a substitute for a colon or parentheses, or indicating an abrupt change in thought, or in a spot where a period is too strong and a comma too weak. It is also used as an interruption in dialog. 

Ellipsis (…) [option or alt colon] this character won't split at the end of a sentence as three periods will. There are a lot of different opinions about their use and if to use the key stroke noted above or three or four periods. In dialog it is usually used when the speaker doesn't finish their thought. As opposed to being interrupted by another speaker as in em dash. The Chicago Manual of Style devotes a couple of pages to its use, which pretty much puts me to sleep. 

I love hooks in a story! There's no better anticipation for me than to flip open a book and get ready to read that all-important first line. I have noticed something, though....I'm not sure if it's just me making a mountain out a molehill, but I get a little bored with all the hooks that start off with, "It was dark, the sea sprawled in endless amounts all around the moss-covered hill."

I love books that pop in with humor or some other non-traditional version. What does everyone else think?

I attended a wonderful workshop on first lines at last year's RWA Nationals presented by the amazing Jo Beverley. She taught us that the first line is the promise to the reader. It not only hooks them. It telegraphs what sort of story is going to follow. This is one time where a writer can't fudge. You can't give your reader whiplash by starting in any other manner than the one in which you intend  to continue.

That's why I started my story about an artistic duchess with: "I'm going to have to shorten his willie." 

My thought on hooks is that sometimes they are way too hooky, if that makes any sense.  If I start reading and the first sentence seems twee or cutesy, it makes me fear the rest of the novel will be the same.

I also don't like opening sentences that are too long and descriptive; if I have to stop and parse it, and memorize those character names which may or may not be important later, I might put the book down.

What I want as a reader is to be pulled to the second sentence.  For me, the first sentence doesn't have to be a whale-sized hook.  A gentle tug is enough.  Then another tug.  Then another, until the story closes over my head.

"Wincing, she wrenched her sight from her reflection, drowning among the modern martini lounge backdrop, knowing she looked like pain, pale and thin, wrapped in a shiny red wrapper."

If I were going to cut this down, I'd do it like this:  "Her reflection looked like pain in a shiny red wrapper." 

My thought process:  "Looked like pain" is a great unexpected phrase, and since you have that, you don't really need "wincing," which adds another clause and slows the sentence down.  The part where she looks away from her reflection might be important, if she has a hard time looking at herself for a psychological reason, but I think it also slows down the sentence--that clause means it takes longer to get to the main clause, which dilutes it.  Once you've established that you have an unhappy person, the description of the martini lounge can follow in another sentence.