BATCAVE 16: ROCK THE BAT

I think I may be in a paralel universe - there was no link from the old cave so if I've time travelled and am in another dimension please let me know.

Knell

Hee, I gots me a place in the parayell universe. Jest hope the ratty chaise isn't made of anti-matter, udderwise, kablooey.

It's 11 pee em in Oz, and I's jest finished sending off copy dreadits to the awthors in my shorn story collection. Torturing awthors is kinda fun, provided youse not the torturee.

In udder udder gnus, I drekked some bats male boxes. Whinges you might be one of them. Or not.

Valkyrie

Hey we got a new home.  I wonder if smearing myself with guano would be slimming?  Going to the beach on Friday.  Fit into the bathing suit just fine but could use some help in some areas.  Love the name of the new cave.

loony

Weird to be in the top ten of anything...

I could use a Chewdor house to moove into.  I would like to trade my Guano Chateau for it...  the realtor prolly wouldn't give a Ratz (_|_) for my deal, though.

Still purging the house to get it down to basics.  Still werking in the kitchen.  Throwed out TONS of 20 years of accumulated shirt.  Only 1/2 way thru.  Skeery. Gotta compress 1500 sq. feet of household shirt into a 1000 sq. foot apartment.  OY.  Hope my majick powahs surface soon... guano take a whole lotta abracabatra to pull this off.

UnHugs to MisSmell and DaddyBat. Youse a verra ungood DD to DaddyBat--and I'm tellin'.

Need mo coughee afore I begin today's kitchen assault.  Prey for me...

An earwerm for V ~

They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning,
No one you see, is smarter than he,
And we know Flipper, lives in a world full of wonder,
Flying there under, under the sea!

Blabbermouth gave me a storyline I can live with. Might even enjoy rioting it.

Fer right now, though, I'se clean up to my eyeballs in resurch.

Oh, well, whaddya guano do in a small town?

Slosh

Billy Mays died.  He's the one who did the OxyClean commericals.  He lived here in Tampa Florida.  Was the same age as Michael Jackson.  What is going on?

loony

Makes me want to bubblewrap my parents to keep them safe.

loony

Just tell him that most of the famoose people he knows about are still alive. 

Speaking of famoose, I've been emailing the man who wants my song in his movie. He's verra excited that I'm okay with the whole letting him use it for free. His movie has a budget of $20,000 and that's not a lot of money for a movie, so I understand it. He said his actors and crew worked for free. 

Since he wants to enter in the Sundance Film Festival, maybe famoose people who are still alive will hear me sing and decide to make me a star. Yup, that's gonna happen (though I think I'll hang onto my non-famoose status this week cuz there's way too many famoose pipples dying. Don't tell Catty's ling).

-- Guanna 

Crossing claws that some famoose person who is still alive hears Guanna's moosick at the Sunned Ants festival, and comes knocking on her door waving fistfuls of moolah.

V

Satire, you better close on the gnu cave quick cuz Boredom's guano hexterminate yer Ratz!  That duzzn't sound like the slightest bit of good, Bronwhine.  If I wuz you, and I sorta am cuz of the One Bat Theory, I'd cancel rats in my area.  Jest sayin's all.

Had a day off today yet still had the alarm set for 6am.  Yep, I wokeded up oily to take the Aimpests to the dog park again.  Yesterday we got there at 8am and it was 95 degrees by 9, so today I got 'em there at 7:30 and we were able to stay until 9 again.  They needed the hexercise, too.  Suka is a Hyper Azz Freak who needs to run and run and run and run and run or she becomes hella annoying... more than usual, even.

Now I'm guano make pizza with the Aimspawn.  That's guano be fun in the super-hot house.

Aimsweaty

Satire, that is a terribubble house and I wants it. And look - there's 5 bedrooms, so lots of space for all my stuff.

In other gnus, because the ratty vehickle situation means I didn't go in to shurk (yet) today, I have finished excavating the jest bed and almost finished tidying up in there. The dusty linen is now being washed, dusting and vaccuuming is part-way completed, and we is therefore almost ready to have jests tomorrow. It'll look far too purdy and clean and tidy when it's dung.

And yes, the tow-truck isn't here yet. But have also booked my car in to be looked over and fixed, as the radiator hose is definitely nibbled, and possibly holy. And who nose what else is holy in the engine. So, will take it in this afternoon, and we will borrow a vehickle to get home in, 'cos it won't be fixed for at least a day.

Oh, I really needed this.

...unjoyed the hinderview on OzRadio, Valkyrie. Your hinderview fiend's book reminded me of sumping that happened when I was werking at the big home unprovement warehouse. Rugged construction hero-type came up to me & told me our stud finders duzn't werk. I told him they prolly didn't have batteries in 'em. He jest shook his head & repeated they didn't werk. OK. I bit. I asked him why. He said none of 'em went off when he walked by.  Where was the batcave when I kneaded it? 

Notgonnacommink on everyding else, 'cuz I's a tarred bat, but ))))everybatty, jest cause((((

Mopetootarredaftertoolongaday

)))Bronbat and gnawed cars((((( I didn't know ratz would do that. Yep, I second sPam's motion to get a catz.

))))GuannaMom coff(((( Not much fun. I still has one and did all my hinderviews with said coff. The sales of throat soothers must be through the roof judging by the numbers I used while in Melbored.

As for Lexative and her stud finders, I noticed recently they is called Stud Locators now. LOL at destruction worker who thunk they should go off when he walks by. He really should do something about his low shelf esteem. 

In udder gnus, did my moaning hinderview, went to meeting, had lunch with a fiend and disgusted her copy dreadits in the ant hology (don't know if they is Sunned Ants or not). Now has a gazillion emails from awthors with their dreadits. And did I mention I's reading the finalists in the Valkyrie Bard Award? Well I is. Who made my days so short?

Valkyrie

Even if she could have one, I don't think a cat would do Bronwhine and the Broncars much good.  Cats is good at killing mice.  Ratz is good at killing cats.  Ratz can easily be the same size as a cat and they's much meaner. 

Firebug is being a butt this moaning.  I lurve it when moanings start with fighting, oh I do lurve it so much.

Aimpissedfrustratedtarredbat

of the dreck, the dreckiness cannot acknowledge me. I quoth Aimless, sorta. Well, not really. It's jest that I hated the cat caption/pic so much that I cp'd it straight into a letter I wuz rioting. Crapter Two appears to have an emphasis on the crap side of things. This has caused me to want to indulge in manuscript avoidance for the past four hours. So I watched Southpark and a show with two Kiwi singers in it called Flight of the Concords. It was just stoopid enuff to keep me somewhat entertained. And took a verra long bath. And washed the dishes. And trained some laundry. But I can't be in avoidance forever so it's back to Crapter Two I go.

Bronbat, I wuz guano suggest rat poison. Unfortunately traps aren't much use when you've got one doing things like that, and where there's one there can be two and you don't want 'em multiplying. I hope you verra quickly get rid of the said rat or rats.

Whinges

And I'm not sure you're relieved as heck that I'm bat/back. 

Mom and Dadbat arrived safely last night.  The Hotel nearly looks like a hotel again.  The shampooer is coming later today.  Does that mean that I have to clear off the floor in my room?  Shirt.  I forgot about my own room.  The rest of the house looks great.  A girl's got to have a sanctuary for her crap, no?

Other guests arriving next day or two.  No training for new job set up yet, and the old one ended Friday!  Whoopee!!!  I'm so happy I could do the naked fwap. But I don't want the 22yo mowing his back yard through to see me through my bedroom window.  Might turn him off females forevah.

Bat luck to all the moving bats.  May the fwaps be with you.  

I sure wish he'd mow shirtless, but he's an oxymormon.  Rats (Not you, Bron-rats).

The jest room is almost all clean and tidy. The bed is made up wth the noice sheets and quilt.

BronBat looks around and admires her shurk.

Hhhmmm. Hope my choich minister cousin and his wife don't mind sleeping in a room full of roamants novels and Mafia reference books, watched over by a collection of stuffed Bats.

What youse needs is a nice, big, fat rat snake. That'll git rid of those rats in a hurry. Mebbe youse kin borry one from Valkyrie's zoo.

i seem to remember some novelist once spoke of a barn snake that ate rats and mices. does B ron have these snakes near her or only the kind in the zoo? how about mongooses? I understand they fight snakes, do they fight rats too?

So I'd hate to know, where you got the notion

Said I'd hate to know, where you got the notion,

To rock the bat, don't rock the bat, batsie,

Rock the bat, don't tip the cave over,

Rock the bat, don't rock the bat, batsie.

Rock the bat-t-t-t-t-t-t.

Ever since the Bat Dame's cave beginned

You touch has chilled me and given me wind,

And your claws have held me back from propriety,

The cave's a gloomy place to harbor you and me.

Our cave is like a ship on the ocean,

We've been fwapping with a cargo full of twisted emotion.

So I'd hate to know, where you got the notion,

Said I'd hate to know, where you got the notion,

To smack the ratz, don't rock the bat, batsie.

Smack the ratz, don't rock the bat.

Don't smack the bat-t-t-t-t-t.

Up to now we've fwapped through every storm,

and I've always had your sneering looks to give me scorn.

Oh, I want to have the strength to hang in close,

Don't plan to drift away my bats, the guano's in my nose.

Rock the bat, don't rock the bat, batsie,

Smack the ratz, don't smack the bats, batsie,

Rock the bats, don't tip the cave over,

Rock the bat-t-t-t-t-t-t.

With no apologies to the Ewwws Corporation.

V

If I want to ask a question about this site, for my Aussie pooblishers, who do I contact? Is there an email for a particular person like Jayne fer instance? I used to be able to find all this stuff, but can't anymore, and I's also a lazy bat. You can IM me or evilmail me at parv at webone dot com dot au usual spacings.

Not thanking you, or waiting for gnus on our gnu chewdor cave. Nope.

Valkyrie

Wokeded up oily so I could color my hair.  It's "deep burgundy true red" yet it's also verra purpley.  Aimless was in the mood for sumthin different and a wee bit funky, and I've done this color before and hated it.  Shoulda done it last night but I was too tarred.

In udder gnus, it's time to rinse this lurvely-smelling crap outta my noggin.

Aimpurpleytruereddishbat

Just found a dead squirrel

Prone, skyward, face contorted

Please don't come in threes

I also didn't like this atall.

Your touch has chilled me and given me wind,

I am surrounded by genius.  I am still waiting for some to rub off on me.  

Carpets shampooped and still wet.  Got a great deal, so am quite happy this moaning.  Mombat paid for it, but I'm still happy about it.  We did our own last year, but the other times we call back the same people who do it on the side.  They gave me a $20 discount, and I felt as rich as King Midas.  

I have knitted 3 makeup bags since my barfday on Friday when I turned OLD OLD OLD.   They aren't a bit cute, and I didn't enjoy being deliciously lazy and knitting all day on the day of my barf.  Imagine.  Mum still hasn't unpacked her knitting for me to look at her sinful yarn and pattern.  She also claimed the multi-color bag for herself. The noive!

"

Your touch has chilled me and given me wind,

So... does that mean you have goose-bumps and gas??

Catty!