Unique Gestures of love...The Teapot

by Holly Jacobs on February 11th, 2008, 8:38am Login or Register to post comments

It’s been just over three years since I lost my grandmother, and I still miss her. Growing up, we spent every weekend at her house, and had our Sunday dinners with her. Later, when I was grown with a couple kids of my own, my family and I lived in the flat over hers while my husband was in college.

My grandmother was an...well, interesting soul. For as long as I can remember, she was convinced that she didn’t have much longer to live. One day, back when we had the flat above hers, she asked me what I wanted when she died. I made all those, "Oh, Nana, you’ll be here for years and years," noises. (I was right, she was with us for almost twenty more year.) But she insisted, so I told her I wanted the ugly yellow teapot. You see, very Sunday at dinner, my grandmother would make tea in that Aladdin’s Lamp pot, and every Sunday, she’d let us kids have a cup of tea, laced heavily with milk. As a child, I felt so grown-up sipping my milky tea. That teapot represented those weekends with her and Papa. It represented being shushed through Lawrence Welk, sitting on Papa’s lap and colored popcorn...it represented a kind of unconditional love that only a grandparent can give.

A few days after she asked that question, I was up in my kitchen, when I heard a loud crash, then a horrible scream from my grandmother. A grabbed the babies, ran down the stairs, fully expecting a phone call to 911. What I found was my grandmother sobbing over the remains of that ugly yellow teapot. She’d planned to wash it and give it to me then, and had broken it. She cried like I’d never seen her, saying over and over, that she’d destroyed the only thing I’d asked for. I couldn’t comfort her or convince her it was alright.

A few months later, we were invited to the opening of a big antique show. Now, before I get to this part of the story, I should preface it by telling you that while my husband was in college, we were poor. The sort of poor that when I said there was nothing in the house to eat, I didn’t mean there was nothing in the house I WANTED to eat. I meant there was nothing left and we were going to my grandmother’s or my mother-in-laws to mooch a meal...that sort of poor. So, there we were just enjoying the antique show, when I saw it. The teapot. The exact ugly yellow, Halls China, Aladdin teapot. It was something like ten dollars. Whatever it was, had about five more cents than that in our checking account than it cost. And that was our food money until the next payday. I knew I shouldn’t buy that teapot, but my husband saw it and said go for it. His mom liked us enough to see that we were fed until payday. LOL So, I bought it. I took it to my grandmother and asked her to make us Sunday dinner and use the new teapot. This was very slick on my barren-cupboard-and-checking-account part. She did and poured from the teapot. Then laughingly never touched it again for fear of breaking it.

From that time on, my collection of ugly yellow Halls has grown. And every time I look at that teapot, I think of my grandmother, and I think of what it means to be unconditionally loved. That’s a gift.

She was on my mind a lot last night. I went to a very lovely tea party yesterday with Susan Gable. We were the guest-speakers and our topic was untraditional gestures of love. I talked about my hero’s Newtonian Love Letter in How to Catch a Groom, and I talked about the relationship between my heroine and her mother-in-law in The House on Briar Hill Road....how her mother in-law gave her the gift of happy memories as a gesture of love and hope. In my life, I’ve been so blessed to be surrounded by a loving family who’s given me so many gestures of love (most of them definitely not traditional LOL). My grandmother wanting to give me that teapot that represented so many happy memories, and her distress over the accident...that was, to me, one of the most beautiful gifts of love I’ve ever received. I thought with Valentine’s Day this week, unique gestures of love was a great topic. So, what about you all? What moments stand out in your life as a gesture of true love?

Holly

www.HollyJacobs.com
SAME TIME NEXT SUMMER, Harlequin Superromance, US and Australia release, 8/08
EVERYTHING BUT A BRIDE, Avalon Books, 8/08
ONCE UPON A THANKSGIVING, Harlequin American Romance, 10/08
ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS, Harlequin American Romance

Unigue gestures of love

Posted on February 11th, 2008, 9:07am by Susan Gable

Hey, Holl!

To me, a unigue gesture of love shows that you really know about the person you're giving the gift to. You chose something they'd really like, or something they really need.

When I first started writing, that first Christmas, my husband went to the bookstore and got me a bunch of writing books.

My husband has a gift given to him by my grandmother -- it's a silver card holder, and it has a battered old deck of cards in it. My husband shared Gram's love for solitaire -- you know, back when we used to play it with REAL cards? My Gram used to play on her kitchen table, and I have fond memories of dinner cooking on her stove, often a pot of potatoes for mashed potatoes, and the windows are all steamed over, and she's sitting at the table, playing solitaire while keeping an eye on dinner.

One of the most romantic things my husband has done for me was on a day sort of like yesterday, when the high was 5 F, and the wind was blowing like mad, and it was snowing, we were both going out, in opposite directions. But I had to get gas. When I pulled in to the gas station, he was following me. He came over and told me to stay in the car. Because it was so nasty out, HE would pump my gas for me.

Awwwwww.... That was so sweet.

So gestures of love don't have to cost money.

A Kid to the Rescue
"There's a little superhero in all of us..."
Feb. 2009 - Superromance
www.SusanGable.com

Susan!

Posted on February 11th, 2008, 9:17am by Holly Jacobs

Hey, Susan, I'm glad you stopped in. Yesterday was so much fun!

And your dh is a sweetie!

Oh, and really? People played card games with real cards??? LOL

Holly

gestures...

Posted on February 11th, 2008, 12:07pm by mmmmmm6

How sweet are these stories... I love it..

A week or so ago, my DH drove me in to work, because he knew how I hate to drive on the ice. But that is not the best gesture. It was driving to my favorite coffee spot to get me my morning brew before we went, even though he could have went to the closer location.

I hope that my gesture for my girls is keeping a 'journal' for them. I type an email letter to some family a few days per week, last year I started printing them and saving them like a journal for someday when my girls are grown.

Maureen

It's never too late to be what you might have been --George Eliot

http://www.myspace.com/mbonatch

Maureen

Posted on February 11th, 2008, 12:09pm by Holly Jacobs

Maureen,

Wow, a man who not only drives on the ice, but gets your favorite coffee...now that's a guy who gets you! I love the idea of the journals for the kids! I'm sure they'll love being able to look back.

Holly

Unique Gestures of Love...Geek Dates

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 7:09am by Holly Jacobs

The Cupboard

My dh is a cop. And for our entire marriage, he’s worked swing shifts. Add to that, we have four kids. So, our alone-together-time was always sporadic. But a couple years ago, he got a promotion and suddenly, after more than twenty years, he worked first shift and had weekends off. Plus, the kids are older. So we had time. So, every weekend, we head out for a "date." Now, my kids scoff at our idea of a date and refer to them as our geek dates. We go to the grocery store, or head out to look for sales. Yard-sales, house-sales, antique stores. We’ve been collecting stoneware and love the thrill of the chase. We also have a collection of Ethan Allan colonial-style pieces. Last year, we found a beautiful corner cupboard...for $10! Yes, it was a find. It was the perfect place to house part of our Santa collection and looks like it was made for our formal livingroom.

So, how is this a unique gesture of love? Well, my dh knows me...and that can be a very unique thing. I’m not a caviar and champagne sort of woman. I’m a sunset on the beach, a hanging at the grocery store with him, a hunting for cool antiques sort of girl. And not only does he indulge me, but he enjoys those things as well.

Hopefully that ability to enjoy each other’s company, even when doing the most mundane things, isn’t all that unique in good relationships. But maybe recognizing how special it is, is unique.

I hope everyone who’s got a significant other recognizes how special those everyday moments can be. So, what’s your idea of a fun time on the town??

Holly

Unique gestures of love

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 9:04am by Jennifer Shirk

Holly, I love the teapot story.

I don't know if this is a unique gesture of love, but it probably comes close: since I've met and married my hubby, I have NEVER had to scrape snow or ice off of my car. LOL! He ALWAYS does it for me. (And I have never asked him to do it)

I also love the fact that if there's only one portion left of a snack or treat in the cupboard, he will NEVER take it for himself and eat it. He always saves the last of anything for me. (Even when I tell him it's okay!) LOL!

Sometimes it's the little things...

Jennifer Shirk
"Always Fun, Always Feel Good"
http://www.jennifershirk.blogspot.com
http://www.jennifershirk.com
http://www.myspace.com/jennyshirk

Jennifer, Your dh is truly

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 9:10am by Holly Jacobs

Jennifer, Your dh is truly lovely! I'd include those little things he does to make you feel loved in his Valentine's card. Guys like hearing that kind of stuff....even if they pretend they don't!

A friend of my husband's told me that my dh was raving because the last snowstorm I got up early and snowblowed the drive so he could get out to work without doing it himself. He told me thanks, but it was sweet to hear he was bragging up that little gesture on my part to his friends.

Really, it is the little stuff that's the more precious!

Holly

That tea pot story

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 9:36am by Fake Frenchie

brought tears to my eyes. You should be a writer. Oh, wiat, you already are. I could picture your grandmother's kitchen and the tea pot and the milky tea. My grandmother called it "cambric" tea. And she gave me a tiny tea pot for one person, with violets all over it. I cherish it and, like your grandmother, I don't dare to use it now since I'm afraid I will break it, and she is no longer and thus the teapot is irreplacable.

"Perhaps what the average member of a group is capable of doesn't limit what a given individual can accomplish." -- Boston Globe, letter to the editor
March's Member of the Month!

Frenchie

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 9:58am by Holly Jacobs

Oh, Frenchie, your grandmother's teapot sounds lovely. I never heard it called Cambric tea before, but I like the sound of it. I'm glad you have the teapot as a rembrance.

And I LOL at your "you should be a writer" comment. Mom says she wasn't surprised I took to writing. I started talking before I was a year old (and claims once I started I never stopped), and in her opinion, writing is like talking on paper. LOL

Holly

Holly...

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 12:21pm by JodieG

What a great story! I have some china (some of the ugliest china I've ever seen!) that my Aunt gave to me. They belonged to my grandmother, who died before I was born. But since I never knew her, it's a nice tie to have.

And I'm such a geek, I just have to ask...is that teapot sitting on an Ethan Allen buffet with hutch? I think if I put a pot on mine and took a photo, that's what it'd look like. Country colors, wheat!

JodieG
Prepublished and workin' to change that!

A winner of the Big Finish 2 Contest, March 2008!

What an amazing story!

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 12:38pm by teachtoreach

What an amazing story! Your children will be blessed by the memories you have to pass down. Thank you for sharing!

Cat

Let us run with ENDURANCE the race that is set before us; looking only unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12:1a-2b

Ethan and more ugly china!

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 12:56pm by Holly Jacobs

Hi, Jodie! Yes, it is on an Ethan A. buffet! Very cool! We inherited some of the Ethan A. pieces from my in-laws, but we've been adding to the collection since. And nice that you have your own ugly china...what a great tie to the grandmother you never knew. I'm sure she'd be happy to know you have it!

Holly

Family stories

Posted on February 12th, 2008, 1:01pm by Holly Jacobs

Teach, Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. My kids are saturated in family stories. We bought my in-law's house and are surrounded by bits and pieces of family history. My FIL was a huge Civil War buff and took the three older kids to Gettysburg many times....but he was ill when my youngest was finally old enough to go, then passed, so she never shared that experience with my FIL. My son, before leaving for college, asked us to all take a trip to Gettysburg, so he could give his little sister a Grandpa-tour. It was so sweet (don't tell him I said that...he'd deny his sweetness) that we couldn't resist. He gave her the Grandpa tour, even making her run down a weedy hill that Grandpa always made him run down. LOL It's one of my sweetest memories.

Holly

Unique Gestures of Love...say the words

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 6:32am by Holly Jacobs

Okay, as a mom I have a lot of memories that I pull out from time to time...things the kids did that made me feel like I've done something right. But there’s one story in particular that tends to come to mind. My oldest was in her freshman year of college and taking a women’s studies class. They read Raising Ophelia in class and had a long discussion about the book and about how they were raised.

Afterwards, my daughter called me...crying. That mom-fear gripped my stomach as I asked what was wrong. She told me how horribly some of these kids had been treated growing up, that some were really messed up because of it. Then, she said...I quote, "Mom, I was the least f#$%ed up one in class." Talk about a Hallmark moment. I couldn’t even scold about the language because I was so relieved she was alright, and so touched as she went on and told me all the things I did right as a mom.

Definitely a unique gesture of love.

Whenever I think about that moment (I haven’t cross-stitched it anywhere yet, but keep saying I’m going to LOL) I’m reminded to tell people around me how much they mean to me. When someone does something nice, I tell them. Those moments matter.

Do you have a moment where you thanked someone, or they thanked you, that sticks with you?

Holly

Gesture of love

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 10:53am by Lisa62

What beautiful stories Holly! <wipes tears away> And I can picture the h in THOBHR having read the book recently. Very touching stories.

My special moment would have to be when I was about 7 years old and my mother worked as a night waitress in a little diner where we lived in south Texas. I was home sick one day as she was getting ready for work when she got the iron out to iron her uniform. For some reason I had to have her- well, everything!- I followed her around asking- "Mommy, when you die can I have...? the list contained everything from jewelry, clothes and shoes to her iron. I wanted that iron. Why? Who knows? Maybe it stood out because she finally replied to my 'can I have' questions. She asked me why I wanted everything she touched, what would I do with her iron, and mostly- "Do you think I'm going to die?" "No." I said. "But, can I have it when you do?" "When I die, you can have my iron. Now stop asking for things 'when I die.'" My mother didin't die for many years from that moment. I didn't get her iron when she did finally pass. But that thought still stays with me for some odd reason to this day. I think its because it was 'our time' that day which seemed rare back then. Before she did die I met my husband and she got to know him and during the eight months after we married we stayed with her she told me she wanted me to have her gold wedding band (even though my parents had divorced years before) and she showed me where she kept it in her wallet in a photo holder sleave. I asked her why me when my older sis had been married longer than I had been and she told me she had a feeling about my marriage- that it would last a long time and would do the ring an honor that her own marriage hadn't. My sister's marriage broke up two years later. Her 'feeling' was right though. I've been married to my husband for 25 years this coming September 6th. Sadly, when she died her ring disappeared and I never got it, but I got the gift of her faith in my vows which means more to me than any material object.

~*~Lisa62~*~
My Blog ~ A Little Bit of Everything~
~Writing is dreaming on paper~

Memorable Thank Yous

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 11:26am by Lisa62

Just over a year ago, October 5, 2006, is a very memorable date for me. To preface this, my oldest daughter got into heroine in July of the year before. She and sil came to dh and I in January and confessed all and asked for help which resulted in the next few months of trying to help them 'get clean'. It didn't work. On that day October I got a phone call around 10:30 in the morning that they'd been in a single car accident and were in the hospital. At that point they were saying her leg was broken and they were still running tests. She was still unconscious and the accident had happened nearly 5 hours before. When I got there I she had broken her left leg, both bones, but seemed alright otherwise the nurse said. I found a gash in her head they'd missed and it took five staples to fix it. We took her home with us. During the next 2 days she got worse, began throwing up constantly, growing weaker and weaker. My heart was breaking. Dh had moved to the sofa so I could sleep with her in our bed. She'd cry all night and hugged up to me as we were trying to get back to sleep once again during that very long first night I kept thanking God for bringing her back to us even in such sad shape. Suddenly she patted my cheek like she did as a baby and thanked me for saving her. She thanked me for always being there for her when she'd screwed up so badly time and again. Then at a time when I was feeling like I must surely be the worst mother ever created for letting my child get in the position and condition she was in- very nearly dead- she thanked me for being the best mommy in the world, kissed my cheek and asked me to just hold her so she could sleep.

With tears on my face I held my baby and prayed that when she slept, she'd wake again and let me be her mother. Before that nightmare was over she went back into the hospital for a week as her kidneys, liver and pancreas began shutting down. We almost lost her during that forever weekend, but I know it wasn't because I hadn't been a good mother to her and her sisters. To this day she doesn't remember that conversation, but she and her husband never fail to let me and her father know that we're good parents. They both thank us for being there for them even after what they'd done and been through, because sils parents shut the door on them. Today they are both clean for over a year, she's the mother of the three month old baby, and they are both doing wonderful. Now I thank her for being a beautiful daughter and for letting me be a grandmother to their baby.

~*~Lisa62~*~
My Blog ~ A Little Bit of Everything~
~Writing is dreaming on paper~

Lisa...Love the ring, but really, an iron??? LOL

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 11:41am by Holly Jacobs

Lisa, I so love your stories of your mother. And though I'm so sorry you didn't get that ring, but the memory is the kind of one that will stay with you! Seriously, very sweet.

Although, seriously...the iron? I'm allergic to ironing. If my husband didn't iron his own uniforms, I'd offer to send you mine. LOL

Holly

Lisa's daughter.

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 11:41am by Holly Jacobs

Oh, Lisa, I teared up reading about your daughter. I'm so glad she's clean now. And I'm so glad she had you and your husband standing by her side. Congrats on the new baby!

Holly

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 12:54pm by Lisa62

Thanks. I have so many memories to pull from but those are two that stand out. Yep an iron. In fact, one Mother's Day dh got me a nice, nifty new iron and oddly- I was ecstatic! I don't understand it either, but maybe its part of why I DO like to iron... Is that too weird?

~*~Lisa62~*~
My Blog ~ A Little Bit of Everything~
~Writing is dreaming on paper~

Lisa and ironing

Posted on February 13th, 2008, 2:18pm by Holly Jacobs

Lisa,

Hey, having friends who like to iron is a huge boon! It might make you the most popular conference roommate. (If you see me coming down a hall with a dress tossesd over my shoulder, you'll know why! )

Seriously, I'm so glad you have those memories...and that you shared them!

Holly

Chocolate and beds

Posted on February 14th, 2008, 8:43am by Holly Jacobs

I've so enjoyed everyone's stories! Just wanted to wish you all a lovely Valentine's Day! Hoping you all appreciate the unique gestures, the words that your loved ones show you daily!

Here's my last gesture...

I got up this morning and my dh gave me a cute card, some dark chocolate (my fav!) and...he made the bed. Now, that doesn't sound like anything totally gushy, but here's the thing, I make the beds every day. To those who don't, I know it sounds sick. But I love untucking the blankets at night and crawling into the crisp sheets. That the beds are made in the morning matters to me. It does not, however, matter to my dh. And still, he made the bed...for me...because he knew it would make me happy. Those small gestures are the ones I treasure most. More than the dark chocolate even! LOL

Happy Valentine's!

Holly

Making the bed

Posted on February 14th, 2008, 11:20am by Lisa62

What a Honey of a Valentine you have Holly. My dh 'straightens' the bed sometimes. Usually so he can get in it without me coming along five minutes later and making it with him in it! I have to have the sheet and blankets just 'so', but I don't always have time at 6 in the morning to make it up and rarely get home before 6 at night.

~*~Lisa62~*~
My Blog ~ A Little Bit of Everything~
~Writing is dreaming on paper~

Long days

Posted on February 14th, 2008, 1:27pm by Holly Jacobs

Lisa, Man, those are long days! Hope you get to enjoy some of Valentine's with your sweetie!

And yes, my dh is wonderful. After all these years, he's still my favorite person in the world!

Holly

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Unique Gestures of love...The Teapot

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Unigue gestures of love

Susan!

gestures...

Maureen

Unique Gestures of Love...Geek Dates

Unique gestures of love

Jennifer, Your dh is truly

That tea pot story

Frenchie

Holly...

What an amazing story!

Ethan and more ugly china!

Family stories

Unique Gestures of Love...say the words

Gesture of love

Memorable Thank Yous

Lisa...Love the ring, but really, an iron??? LOL

Lisa's daughter.

Holly

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