I was forced to look at my own behavior today.

I know exactly what you mean.  I'm not in a critique group, nor am I dealing with that same issue, but I am dealing with timing and God's will.  I don't think it's coincidence that our Sunday School lessons for the last month have dealt with that very same thing.  Oh, and did I mention the sermons have been along the same line too.

It's never fun to get corrected (especially in a public setting) but at the same time I am so glad that God cares enough about me, even when I am so totally in the wrong, that He takes time to correct me!

Praying God's word will touch and help you.

 Teach

the old saying...treat people, the way you want to be treated. 

I am sure you werent mean on purpose.  Most of us never are.  But sometimes we just speak without thinking. Especally when talking to kids, because they take everything so literally.

And your right, sometimes when we have a problem or a question, something will happen. Either a lesson, a line in a book or movie will come at just the right moment, and everything becomes clear, or at least guides you in the right direction.

asked for it, and giving it when it's unsolicited

Critique groups are there to critique

but nobody says you have to take all the advice you are given, and nobody is forcing your partners to take all the advice you give

being respectful is a must (notice I don't say a given)

you have to believe in your voice (and your characters) and know when to stick up for a scene and when to admit that you might be too close to see the truth - remember Trish Wylie fought tooth and nail for a scene most readers love but the editor thought would be better out

Hugs

Sadhbh

I always prefer the criticism to praise, because that's where you grow and, let's face it, most books, even published ones could be better. So, I tend to criticize more than praise. Plus, when things are really well written, it's so smooth you don't notice.

I run a critique group and I've noticed that some people are thinnner skinned than others. And people take things the wrong way.

I think part of the thing is to be sure your crit partners like your voice (I've had people suggest stripping out every vestige of snarky humor and leave me with a totally flat book) and your genre (I know there are plenty of people who find the classic mega-rich alpha hero to be sooo cliched)

But, if someone didn't like your work and you've had a good critting relationship, you should ask why to come to an understanding.

I did once write a series of very negative crits about a book started by a very talented writer because the plot was full of holes (the conflict seemed to be all in the mind of the heroine who flung unfounded accusations at the hero) and I felt the writer should  write something else (she had started a book with great characters and an actual plot). Anyway, I thought I was being helpful, so she wouldn't waste her time continuing to write a hopeless book, but she angrily cut off our critiquing partnership.

A lesson for me.  

SAO

is a good way to begin a cp relationship. If it doesn't work out in the end you know, or at least hope, it wasn't because of anything you said.

I joined a crit group two years ago when I first got serious about getting pubbed. In two months I uploaded three chapters and not one hit for crits. Then I finally got one and she was so rude and disrepectful of my work that I dropped the whole group after one chapter. She didn't even take the time to go through all three chapters before cutting me to the quick. Plus- what she 'disliked' and 'suggested' I 'fix' (she gave replacement suggestions) made MY story hers.

I really felt like she was trying to turn my work into her own with her over all attitude. Don't do this, do this instead. Don't make the H like this, he's much more believable if he talks like this... Uh- hello? If I change his way of speach (southern drawl) then he won't be a true southern gentleman... Told me to change the way supporting chars spoke, it's not like that (regarding horse business), when she'd already admitted to knowing nothing about horses in the first place....

You have to be subjective of any crit your work receives and keep going. If you don't think someone is right for you, move away from them. I have two other cps and I sent them each a sample of the other girl's crit. They both (both pubbed now) said the girl was clueless and hurtful with no helpful feedback to counter her 'opinions'.

I love my cps! They are honest, fun and caring of my feelings while being straight with me- and that is how I try to crit others' work. If I don't know a genre, I tell them straight out and let them know all I can help with is flow and plot structure, or maybe punctuation and some spelling (iffy when its set in another country/time period). I advise them to find a history writer, or whatever the genre needs for the rest.

 *--Kind of funny that I am 41 yrs old and still naive in many ways. My 8yr old son is like that. He just assumes everyone he meets wants to be his friend and acts accordingly. That's not a bad thing most times!--*

I believe that's the innocence of youth. Hope he holds on to it like you seem to have. I'm sensing from your opening post, you are questioning whether you have been as harsh towards others. IMHO, the fact that you are wondering makes me believe you probably haven't. Just keep in mind that critique and nastiness are 2 different things. 

Funny--I was just thinking about innocence of youth in the shower this morning because of a book I recently read. My son has such a positive attitude about everything. My husband is that way most of the time. But I tend to be more negative (which I'm working on improving). It's a family trait that I don't want to pass along to my own children. Anyhow, I believe positive people are happier with their lives and negative people not so much. And when someone is trapped in their negativity, they tend to pass it along to others. I think if there is a way we can help our children keep their great attitudes, they will not only be happier when they grow up but maybe we can help to prevent some of the negativity as well. 

Shannon 

Short answer: Yes.

 What a silly question.

Witrhin the HM&B stable -- there are probably an equal number of American and English author writing regencies, plus one or two Australians. The editors are definitely of the opinion that Americans can write Regency. And truly in this matter, their opinion counts.

You do need to do a lot of research if you are going to write Regency. But thankfully there are a lot of books on the subject. And if you write Regency, you probably immerse yourself in the world anyway or at least i do.

There are some advantages in living in the UK with the research -- you can go many more places, and you also probably have more access to primary documents. For example, I belong to the Lit and Phil which is a private library dating from 1798 (or thereabouts) which has a reading room that has not changed since 1823. And I can read all sorts of books there. I just can't take out any from before 1850.

But I think some of the arguements non published authors get into over word choice are a bit silly and pedantic and due nothing to further the enjoyment of the story.

Writing historicals is by definition anchronistic. You have never directly experienced the time or place.  The big problem is of course the unknown unknowns or the things you think you might know.

And btw editors do question as well. I get less questioned these days, but I still get questioned if something pulls them out.

FWIW

Michelle S, an American who does write Regency (as well as a few other time periods) but lives in England -- not sure where this puts me.

but it's worth also taking the time to think about it and give those
reactions as well - they won't be the same, but both may be valid and
useful

I had a train of thought, but DSs came along and frightened it away

Hugs

Sadhbh