March 11: Why I Believe In Love by Kay Stockham

There's a reason I believe in love. Actually, there are a lot of reasons, the most important being the people in my life. I've been blessed to have been surrounded by love growing up. I know, some people aren't so lucky. But believe me when I say my family has had its share of divorce and health problems and heartache. But we've survived-because of the power of love and God's presence in our lives.

My parents met and married when my mom was fifteen. Fifty-four years later, they've been through everything together. Have you ever heard the advice that if your marriage is on the rocks, don't build a house or remodel? It's true, because the stress and tension and problems that arise when doing those things have ended too many marriages to count. But not my parents' marriage. Over the years my parents built twenty-three houses together to help supplement our family's income. Not bad for an Army vet with a sixth grade education and a high school drop out, eh? At twelve, my depression-era father had to go to work to help feed his family. And my mom-she dropped out because she was in love, simple as that. Things were hard. Oh, the stories they tell about their early years together! But love got them through, and when my father wised up to the fact that he could overcome his lack of education working in real estate, things began to look up.

Out of those twenty-three house builds, my parents moved a total of fifteen times-two of which took place in the same week! (Want to read an example of true love? Get this: Several years ago my father built yet another beautiful house, this one 6,000 square feet of beautiful tile, marble, wood molding and gorgeous cabinets. They moved, and the same week my mother was so homesick for her old house that my father moved her back!) Now tell me, how many husbands would do that? That's love, no?

Did I mention a sense of humor helps? My Dad can still tease a blush to my mother's cheeks when he brings up that move. But on the flipside, neither can talk about my mom's cancer and fifty-fifty chance of survival without glancing at each other with teary eyes and an expression of soul-deep love and dedication.

The ability to laugh at the silly things that come up in life, the pet peeves and irritating, frustrating, I-can't-believe-they-did-that moments, is HUGE when it comes to keeping maintaining one's sanity. Through the hard years, the years when there wasn't enough money, no jobs, tough, tough times, my parents were able to find the humor in their marriage. And in the dark times, they leaned on each other more, not less. People react to bad news in different ways, but I can't describe how special it was to me to watch my parents fall in love all over again during my mother's illness. They knew time was precious and they weren't going to waste a single moment of it. Given all that I've seen, how can I not believe in love?

I'd be remiss if I didn't include my husband's family in this post as well. His father's parents were married over fifty years before Chad's grandfather passed away. (Unfortunately, we couldn't find a photo of them.)

His mother's parents have been married sixty-eight years, and my husband's parents have been married for thirty-nine years.

My husband and I? Surrounded by these examples , we've been together for twenty years, married for nearly seventeen. (Like the mullet and the poofy veil?<G>)

We've laughed and cried and argued and fought (Oh, we've had some doozies!) and gone silent, but love has brought us through. Unlike Hollywood marriages where five years is considered extraordinary, we've seen and lived the proof that long marriages are possible. But they take a lot of work, dedication and good, old-fashioned sticking-power on the part of both parties, not just one.

I believe in love because I believe deep in my heart and soul that love is more powerful than hate. Love is the ability to forgive the slights and the arguments. Love is the kindness shown not only to each other, but to strangers in need. We've all experienced this type of love, even if we haven't experienced marital longevity or bliss. Love is holding a door for the elderly or a frazzled mother pushing a stroller, delivering food to a family who mourning the loss of a loved one, donating clothes to a family burned out by fire, or sending a card to a friend down in the dumps. Where hate is destructive and ugly, love is beautiful and uplifting. It can't be bought. It can't be sold. And it even includes morning breath and bed-head, bad moods, weight gain, PMS, mid-life crises, and thinning hair. Love conquers all these things and more.

My post is long, and I've shared some of the reasons why I believe in love. But what about you? Do you have people who've inspired you to believe? Have you found love again after seeing the dark side of life? Please tell us about it. I'll choose a winner from those who share their stories, and they'll receive a copy of ANOTHER MAN'S BABY, my March release from Superromance.

Don't be bashful. I'd love to hear your stories.
Kay

About Kay Stockham:

Kay Stockham sold to Harlequin's Superromance line February 11, 2005, and celebrated her long-awaited dream come true while tagging along with her husband to a pharmaceutical convention in Vegas. Kay's debut novel, Montana Secrets, was released in October, 2005, and hit number seven on Waldenbooks Series Bestseller List. Within ten months of that first sale, she sold three more stories to the Superromance series, and attributes her success to perseverance and a true love of the romance genre.