March 13: Why I Believe In Love by Jina Bacarr

The Spy Who Loves Me
by Breezy Malone

(heroine of "Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs" by Jina Bacarr)

Even spies fall in love.

I know. I'm a spy, a special agent for Theta Agency, a covert U.S. security agency. I spend my days and nights gathering intel on the bad guys and I do my job well. I'm in the business of uncovering secrets and keeping the world safe. I work what we in the spy biz call "naked," alone in the field and without assistance.

Until I met the man I call the one-eyed Jack.

I can't go into the details about how we met (it's classified material), but I believe the power of love transcends even the secretive world of espionage, so I've come in from the cold to give you spycraft secrets you can use in your love life. It's a tough world out there and you need a strong partner to help you get through it all. Though the one-eyed Jack and I both work solo in the field, we've come to rely more and more upon each other and fell in love while we broke up a sleeper terrorist cell in Europe.

Here are my 5 Sexy Spy Tips to spice up your relationship with that special someone:

1.) Spies live from moment to moment in the field gathering intel, but before I set out to interrogate my latest mark, I studied his dossier until I knew everything about him--where he went to school, his favorite food, even the Chinese character tattoo on his left buttock.

Whether you're dating or in a relationship, find out something you didn't know about your man. What music did he like as a teen or in college? Sports teams? Films? Give him a CD with his favorite tunes or sports memorabilia or a DVD of a film from that time in his life. You'll earn a special place in his heart.

2.) Spies can't tell anyone about the secretive work we do. I've learned to be discreet in every move I make and I place a high value on anonymity, even in my bedroom. This puts an intense strain on my romantic relationships, but I learned to trust the one-eyed Jack and vice-versa.

I believe being so deeply in love and having that kind of trust is amazing. Learning to trust your man is vital to your relationship. Listen when he speaks, watch for cues in what he says and doesn't say. You'll discover more about his needs and desires than by asking him non-stop questions.

3.) Spies learn how to negotiate in sticky situations. I've sharpened my communication skills, learned how to talk to a kidnapper in a hostage crisis, focused my mind on staying alert, and relied on my quick judgment to diffuse the situation if it turned hostile.

You can use these same tactics when discussing a problem with your man. Keep eye contact with him and pay attention to your body language. Don't promise him sex. It rarely solves the problem. On the other hand, you can often diffuse an awkward situation with a sense of humor. It's difficult to be angry when you're laughing at the same time.

4.) Spies learn the art of observation. When I was going through my espionage training at a secret location near Prague, I was taken to a bedroom filled with the belongings of a man--clothes, scribbled notes, cigarette butts, computer printouts, laptop. I was given less than five minutes to get a picture of who this man was.

I found this training useful in dealing with romantic interludes. Men are less communicative then women. Learn how to observe your man. What he's feeling and not saying, what he wants by the way he looks at you, touches you. Learn to read his nonverbal "signals" to keep your relationship in sync.

5.) Spies create a "legend" (a fabricated bio to provide me with a new identity) before we go on assignment in the field. Fake passport, fake creds, even fake boobs. I use role-playing to "sweeten" up my target, breaking down his resistance with my seductive voice, sexy dance and provocative outfits.

Role-playing can bring what I call "instant foreplay" to your relationship. Dressing up in your man's favorite costume lets him know you trust him and you're willing to indulge in his fantasies. And yours. Who knows? Maybe that black silk blindfold and those velvet-lined handcuffs you bought on a whim at that in-home pleasure party will make the fun last all night.

Try these sexy tips with your man and see what happens. Nobody does it better.

Best,
Breezy

About Jina Bacarr:

Jina Bacarr loves adventure in exotic locales, which led her to write the award-winning non-fiction book, The Japanese Art of Sex, and the RIO Award-winning novel, The Blonde Geisha, the only erotic novel to win the Mainstream Fiction category. She worked as the Japanese consultant for KCBS-TV, MSNBC, The Pleasure Zone, Tech TV's Wired for Sex and British Sky Broadcasting's Saucy TV. She's also acted in Japanese TV commercials, worked as a companion girl for a Japanese company, wrote forty scripts for daytime television (including thirty animation scripts) and has had three plays produced in Malibu, California.

Along the way, she learned to speak six languages and is an art history devotee, which led her to pose as an artist's model, first in Laguna Beach, then in Italy. Her travels have taken her to nearly every state in the U.S. and around the world. For her erotic novel Naughty Paris (SPICE, July 2007), she drew upon her experiences living in the City of Light and her love of French Impressionism to re-create the raucous and erotic world of 1889 Paris.