The midnight moon exposed a boy and a girl, seven and eight years of age, making their way to a large, flat boulder jutting out into the lake. Once there, the boy sank to a knee, motioning the girl to do the same.
Once she did so, he pulled out a small, wrapped package. The boy laid the package on the boulder and unrolled it, revealing two necklaces and a stone knife. The girl drew in a hissing breath at the sight of the knife and the boy took the girl’s hand in his, earnestly looking into her face.
“Are you scared?” he asked.
“A little.” she nodded.
“So am I.” the boy admitted. “We don’t hafta do this…”
“No” the girl shook her head. “We gotta, or we’ll be lost. It’s now or never.”
* * * * *
if you would like to read more, please let me know and I will send the rest for your reading enjoyment/critiquing
Don't argue with idiots. They will drag you down and then beat you with experience.
"Life is pain Highness, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something." - Dred Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride
Showing you the ropes.....
Hi there,
I see that you've posted your work for critique, I'm going to ask our Write Stuff moderator, Dee to pop over and show you the ropes, k? We don't as a general rule use the boards for critiquing works in progress.
Jayne
Community Manager
"We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh"—Agnes Repplier
Hey Writer!
I liked this one. Very sweet! Was it a Challenge Entry? In general, Jayne's right, we don't post stories for Critting if we're planning to do much with it, like submitting, because the post becomes property of eHQ.com. But if it's just practice, the Writer's Challenge on The Write Stuff is definitely the place to be. Plus, they sometimes email critiques between themselves. And there's the Find A Critique partner thread there, too. All kinds of resources!
See ya there!
Dee
Dee Tenorio
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
Dee, thanks for info
thanks for the comments on the short short. it wasn't any entry of any sort - just something my brain wouldn't let me ignore until written. i have attached myself to the Writer's Challenge forum and am about to post for the next challenge (yay). So it is appropriate to perhaps ask forum friends and the like to look over stray stuff?
could you help educate me on what Harlequin series an extended "sweet" story such as this may fit? i am attempting to zero in on my writer's voice. you appear extremely busy, but i appreciate your help.
Don't argue with idiots. They will drag you down and then beat you with experience.
"Life is pain Highness, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something." - Dred Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride
a hardship
I hear it all the time, so I"m going to repeat it here...the best way to determine which line your voice best suits is to read,read and then read some more...I know...SUCH a hardship
Good luck!
Jayne
Community Manager
"We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh"—Agnes Repplier