BBC: "Things You Should Never Say To An Editor"

I heard this directly from an editor a couple of years ago. She was still sort of freaked out because she'd gone up to her room to change and found a manuscript on her bed. The author had snuck in during cleaning and left it there.

Now, no one actually SAID the towels in the room were soft, but this is one situation you never want to be in. Believe me, that editor has memorized the author's name and "stalker" is not the way you want to be remembered.

I'm with you. I don't have the nerve to go stalking editors either. (Although, there are probably some who doubt that. But really, I don't. I'm just unlucky enough to accidentally look like I'm following you. Seriously.) But some people really do think that if they don't get up there and be aggresive, the editor won't know how serious they are. Or, they think they might make an impact in the editor's memory as that great person they met in the hall...

The problem with being too aggressive is just like in dating. You run the risk of scaring the crap out of people. Editors are definitely people too. Only, they remember EV-RY-Thing.

I've had editors I haven't submitted to in years still remember the details of a book I'd sent in and ask me when I'm going to do something with it. Which is nice, on the one hand. On the other, oh God...they remember that awful story??

:)

Dee 

when I say, "No thanks!" on the dead rat, lol!

Maybe the whole drug scene/music scene blending isn't so far off after all, cause someone was on something when they came up with that plan, lol. Funny that it worked!

As for bad stories, lol...oy ve. Honey, I've got things I'm afraid to delete cause they might come back from the grave.

Dee 

is cute little logos.  I remember reading in Writer's Market about people who tried to leave their 'mark' on their ms by including a personalized letterhead or emblem.  

Also, I read that a writer should NEVER tell an editor that family and friends think their story is sooooo good.  After all, loved ones tend to see the ms through rose-colored glasses.

Dee, LOL about sneaking a ms under a stall when the editor is out of toilet paper!  What a hoot! 

...of ordering special stationary with an 'A' inside a superwoman's crest as the letterhead.  It seemed like a great way to attract an editor's attention.  Even my mom thought so.  Oh, well!  I guess plain paper it shall have to be. <GG>  

Brady Bunch cluelessness?  That's a Groovy point, Marsha - oops, I mean, Dee.  We wouldn't want the editors to get that impression of us.  LOL

...if editors ever have nightmares about these stalking scenarios the way we have nightmares about our stories flubbing up? 

Lauren, textured paper seems perfectly acceptable to me.  Of course, my opinion doesn't count!  I never really understood exactly why the editors require only plain white paper (seems to me they'd get tired of it), but thank goodness I was warned back before I submitted! 

I have a little girl.  In case you're wondering what that has to do with anything, it's that little girls and glitter go hand-in-hand.  Glitter Barbies, glitter hair bows, glitter play-cosmetics, glitter craft projects... etc.  You get the point.  Besides the darned fake easter basket grass that seems to glue itself onto every available surface, nothing can be more annoying than sprinkles of static-clinging glitter.  I'm not exactly sure WHAT an adult could be thinking to offer 'sparkling hell' to an editor and expect a good reply. H'm...   <GG>

Now, this isn't to say there isn't a time or place to say this, but random pitches because you've managed to corner an editor is never one of them.

To be clear, times when you shouldn't conveniently pitch:

• You've just realized that other woman in the elevator is (insert editor of your dreams)...
• You're standing behind (insert editor of your dreams) in line...
• You've followed (insert editor of your dreams) to the bathroom...

Times when it's okay?:

• At a pre-scheduled pitch event.
• After or during (if it's part of the event) a conference session, if the editor is taking asides. And only if the editor accepts.
• At a meeting with the editor, if she asks what your current projects are.

Does anyone have any other times to add?

Dee 

ICK! It sticks EVERYWHERE! Reminds me of a story (joke?)  i heard about a little girl who wiped glitter off her hands with a washcloth and put it back in the cabinet...and the mom who used it to clean herself (ahem) before heading to her gyn appt.

 Anyway!  Back to the paper thingy.  In the writing guidelines inder learn to write, it says: "All material must be typewritten, double-spaced, and on a reasonably heavy bond paper."  So... is that ixnay these days? Should it be just regular old paper?  Since I'm getting ready to sub a Super soon (say THAT three times fast!!) enquiring minds want to know!

Thanks!

Is that showing my age??? I used it on a manual typewriter. 

 So, I guess I'll save that heavier 32lb paper I splurged on for something else, LOL.   Thanks for the info, Dee!

I loved using onionskin paper for tracing paper!  LOL, I couldn't draw very well, so I traced everything.  Or I used carbon paper.  My kids don't even know what carbon paper is...

Thank goodness we don't have to use things like carbon paper, correction tape and typewriters anymore!!

trish 

Right!

One of my quirks: I LOVE writing overtop of liquid paper that's hardened. The new instant stuff just doesn't do it for me :P

works great for crossword puzzles too. :)

I've heard of people spraying perfume in the ms envelope before sending it to the editor or agent. They wanted  a scent to go with the ms to help the agent/editor remember them.

Seemed kind of freaky to me.

I heard of the glitter thing. And sending chocolate. I've heard of confetti, too.

SueB

Which is... ???

It's not that there's an Internal Affairs Bureau for editors (Is there??), but offering bribes won't really get you anywhere.

Trust me, I've tried.

LOL, just kidding. (Sorta)

They'll joke about it with you and it's totally cool to kid about it. And you know, if you really feel like showing the love by sending them 20 lbs of fine Swiss chocolate, they're going to definitely ooh and ahhh.

Over the chocolate.

Then they'll sit down and read your manuscript like they do everyone elses. I'm not sure if they'll keep the gift, but odds are not.

But free trips to France? That one is anyone's guess!

Dee 

I've heard of the perfume thing.  Shouldn't every editor like a whiff of Lancome's Tresor, my personal fav, to remember my ms by?  LOL

 Dee, are we talking BRIBERY here?  In a negative way, of course. Are you saying that money (or any gift) planted in the pocket won't work?  Darn! *snapping my finger and scowling*.  And I'd planned to slip a George into the envelope!  Just kidding, because personally I'd rather be paid to be published than to have to pay Harlequin for taking it - LOL.  I'm sure editors have had a few good laughs over some prime brown-nosing and milking.  No matter how many tedious manuscripts they review, I don't see how their lives could ever be too dull. 

Sadhbh, I'm not an editor, but you can bribe me with a free trip to France!  Not that it would do you much good literary-wise.  <eg> 

This blog is rather enlightening.  Well... kind of.  Actually it's just plain entertaining!

You know those folks who get rejected on American (or whatever country) Idol who freak out and start calling the
judges names? Or the dumber fools who take on the judge face to face and thinks they're going to come off looking like the got one over the judge.

Hating the editor or bad mouthing her for rejection is more than bad form. It shows an inability to learn. The only times an editor will reject you based on your person and not your work is when you prove yourself so difficult to work with that you cancel out your work.

Not to say they want stepford writers. They don't. Personality is a great thing. But evil, toxic co-worker situations don't bode well for completing contracts. There has to be a level of trust that the author can deliver. YOU have to prove you're worthy to be trusted and lots of times, that can be achieved with professional behavior, especially in the face of set backs.

Best of luck!

Dee 

Oy ve, I remember one incident where a rather foolish soul put a scathing review on Amazon that set the blogosphere aflame (and got the author some really great sales, lol, oddly enough, but not the recommended route for good numbers.). She made sure to include what she deemed inept editing.

Too bad she forgot she was a writer subbing to the same house.

It was a very illustrative way to teach others that what happens on the Internet DOESN'T stay on the Internet.

Dee 

you're entitled not to like the book. You paid for it, you should be able to state your opinion, but I generally try to review as if the person were right in front of me. And as a writer, I try to be very clear why the book didn't work for me--without giving away the ending! (Very big on reviews not coughing up the end)

"Like, I enjoyed the humor, but I'm afraid the heroine didn't quite work for me. I felt her conflict lacked thoroughness..."

There's never a need to get hurtful or insistent, as some folks do. If you don't like the book, cool. But always be respectful of other people's work. For me, there's just no bigger peeve than when folks claim they hate something but can't tell me why.

Although, if you REALLY hate a book, I'd just skip the review entirely. Sometimes, folks and books just shouldn't have met, lol. No need to hurt yourself reliving the experience. :)

Dee 

I have learned a lot by reading this blog.  If I should ever find myself in this position, I will remember to follow the rules.  The color and type of paper was very interesting.  So far, my ideas are only in my head but, I hope to start putting them on paper someday!

Ellen, LOL about meeting the editor in the elevator and being speechless.  I'm that way all the time.  While, on here I'm chatty, and can write okay enough, in person I often can't find anything good to say at all... which doesn't make for good conversation - LOL.  However, what happened to you was probably not because you didn't have anything to say, but because you were nervous and tongue-tied.  I'm glad you and the editor 'hit it off' later!  That may not have been the first time she'd caught an author by surprise. 

Lauren, what a good idea.  I like to give and receive cards so I imagine the editors would too as a considerate thank-you for their time.  After I mailed off the card, I'd eat the chocolates myself!  <GG>

Nationals, Conferences, and Meetings OH MY!!  It all sounds so daunting.  I don't know that I would have the courage to go, much less actually speak to someone.  I only recently found a RWA chapter here in my area, and I'm even going back and forth on whether or not to try to attend one of those meetings.  Maybe I would if ever I was fortunate enough to get a nibble on one of my ms'.  I don't know.  But all of this information is definately good to know.  lol

Tiff-

On the other hand, I haven't sold to HQ in ten years, so...I might be on the wrong tack. :)

But seriously, the Eds know that we're nervous, twitchy people. They're riddled with forgiveness. And as I'm the queen of embarassing moments (hello, I'm still the girl who was walking around with an exposed boob at a HQ party one year), I can say this with all truthfulness---half the time they don't even notice the things that horrify us. (Proof is that none of the editors even remember that, although it must be said, I'm probably still the highlight of that party to the waiter who had the pleasure of getting me to point at the top of the Mousse Tower about five times.)

Hugs,

Dee