BBC: Making Friends With Dialogue

Before you can get characters talking, you have to know HOW to make them talk.

These are the parts of speech you need to know:

• Punctuation
• Tags (Action, Non, IMs & Saids)
• Beats
• Purpose
• Character

For the next several weeks, we're going over what these aspects are and how they can be used. Then we'll talk about creative ways to get the most from your dialogue. So brace yourself, gang. We're on our way to becoming better writers!

Hey Dee. This sounds like a good topic you've got going..

It was only last year that someone pointed out that I used too many dialogue tags and I said, 'what's that?'. indeed.

This can really trip a writer up. We've all grown up reading books that have different types of punctuation, from comics to novels, but for the purpose of fiction, there are a few rules one should get down--how to properly punctuate your sentence to look like a professional and how to use punctuation to keep from confusing your reader.

Let's start with part one--proper punctuation in dialogue.

In today's fiction publishing world, it's generally accepted to have the punctuation to end a sentence INSIDE the quotation marks. Bet you didn't know that's technically wrong for the rules of actual grammar. It is, but publishers have found it just makes sense to do so as it's easier on the reader. Reason being that punctuation is more than an indicator of sentence structure. It also can provide tone, lilts and volume. Note how you read the same sentence with three different sentence ending punctuations:

• "Jenny doesn't like you." 
• "Jenny doesn't like you?"
• "Jenny doesn't like you!"  

(There is also the option of ending your dialogue with a comma, but I'll explain that when we get to attribution tags.) 

The caveat becomes, of course, not to let the punctuation do the writing for you. Many folks can get carried away with exclaimation points to show excitement, intensity, rage, happiness. The truth is, an exclaimation point can't do that. It can only show how loud a character is...and how weak the writing might be.

So be sure to watch how often you use them and how many you use in a single piece of dialogue. No matter how many times you've seen it, you can only use ONE kind of ending punctuation in a single dialogue sentence. Multiples, such as "?!", don't actually exist and can make your writing appear weak and unacceptable.

And for the lawyers in you all, no, I'm not saying that a piece of bad punctuation can keep you from being published. But a pervasive use of bad skills tells an editor that you don't know how to write properly and that you aren't ready for publication. They need writers who can meet them halfway...or more. 

I'm good at dialogue, but it's the tags....

 Looking forward to this Dee. I need help!! 

Just found this, and didn't know there was a new BBC thread. I love dialogue, and it can either make or break a story, IMO. I've read books with such stilted dialogue I just have to put them down.

I'm (almost) afraid to admit I'm a grammar snob.  So I'm paying close attention, because I'd hate to muck up my manuscript with improper punctuation and grammar.  Seriously!

 And I'm LOL at Dee, because I just know you were thinking of me when you made that lawyer comment, weren't ya? My reputation precedes me.

You said:  "Bet you didn't know that's technically wrong for the rules of actual grammar.".

 That's the way i've been taught, and that's the way i teach my students.  I've never seen punctuation outside of quotation marks, except for colons and semi-colons.  I even double-checked.  I called two ELA teachers and they told me that the end punctuation is definitely inside the quotes....

I will confess to reading a book, written by someone in Spain, where her punctuation was outside, but i took that to mean that's what Spanish students do.

Keep 'em coming...i love, absolutely love, grammar. 

Nini :)

I'm SOOOO a grammar idiot. But I AM a student of patterns. I love them and see them almost against my will. So I'm really good at memorizing house style.

The explanation I got from our Grammar Guru here at eHQ was that Grammar is actually a constantly evolving creature because it's always in use. What was once considered by route has become changed by, in this case, commercial use. Publishers realized that readers found it easier to read when the punctuation was inside the quotations and began adopting it. Today it's now an accepted and expected format. (which probably explains why those Spanish students used it, thinking that's what we use.)

But traces of the original remain.

See, dialogue is actually a separated part of a sentence, much like an aside created by an em-dash.

Ex) "Jenny doesn't like you," I said to Kyle as we crossed the street.

Believe it or not, that's a single sentence. Originally, the comma would have been outside the quotations, but that little nudge made it clearer to the reader.

Which leads us to the next discussion point, attribution tags...

Keep 'em coming!  I love this stuff!

Nini :)

Here's one from mine:

"Where’s a place to eat?” she asked.

“A place called Spinnaker’s,” he said. “Great place for seafood and tuff.”

“Recommend it then?”

“Yup.”

“Why?”

“I own it.”

“That works for me.”

==

Hope that helps.. :)

I get it now...i don't have to mention names, especially in the middle of a dialogue between 2 people, because we know who's speaking.  But add in a third person, then it gets confusing.

 So instead of the he said/she said...we remove the name tag and just speak...

Gotcha!

Nini :)

Wow, Dee, your examples make it so clear. Now if only I could insert, mix-up and use a variety of tags and make it actually sound good.

Dee, thanks for this...

Honestly, I seriously have a problems w/my tags. I tend to use both said and adverbs. 

And always want to make sure that I'm not confusing the reader with who's talking. Thus, he said., she said.

What you're saying makes sense.  

Thanks again 

l

Huh?  Is that in context, flow of the story?

Nini

you know that space in a joke, the silent "waaaait for it...." before you drop the punchline? You know it when you hear it, but have you noticed it when you read it?

A "beat" is an interruption in the dialogue to show action taking place. To quote "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers", it's the equivalent of stage business in theatre. But you can include much in those beats...provided you use them well.

ex 1) Beatless: "Jenny. Go ahead and cry, honey. I'm here."

It's fine, of course, but you read over it pretty quickly. Beats, however, slow down the pace with either action, thought, or IM, giving the moment--however small--more meaning than a simple line of dialogue. However you fill your beat or beats, they are happening simultaneously to the dialogue.

ex 2) With Beats: "Jenny." Kyle pulled her into his embrace, tucking her head beneath his chin. He didn't lessen his hold until she sighed and relaxed. Her silky hair tickled his cheek, the scent of roses faint on the strands. He'd tell her the truth soon. But not now. "Go ahead and cry, honey. I'm here."

Of course, the usual caveat applies--overuse will drag your dialogue down or slow the pace of the piece until it's War & Peace and only a few people can take it. So, keep in mind the speed of the scene.

"His Girl Friday" would have few beats, maybe some saids,a whole gangload of nons. Dialogue flies and the speech does the entire work of telling the story.

"Of Mice & Men" is full of beats, keeping the scenes lush and supported with hints and underlying currents. The writing still does the work, but the dialogue resonates instead of speeding past.

It all depends on what feeling YOU want the scene to provide.

Hmm, it's all part of pacing the work.

Sometimes nothing said is more explosive than a bunch of words....

Nini :)

"Be zen".....

Nini :)

The thing that makes dialogue believable isn't always the description of the speech. What makes it three dimensional is when the reader can believe your character actually said it.

Is the gritty cop going to wax poetic about a woman's outfit? Would a society maven swear her fool head off? Probably not. You might be able to write a good example of it in context, but to get your reader there, you're going to have to sell them on who these people are and how they talk.

Other big point, unless your characters had the same upbringing, such as siblings in the same house with the same lessons and such, they aren't going to talk exactly alike. Even then, sibs are usually notably different. I have one sister who almost never talks at all, unless she's comfortable. When I'm nervous I talk a mile a minute. Our interests are different and that reflects widely on our perspectives.

And that's the first lesson to learn with writing believable character dialogue--no matter what perspective you're writing in, their speech will always be the CHARACTER'S perspective. Icy cool, ferally hot tempered, rushing to conclusions, prodding for more information... Every character is speaking for a reason, usually to further their own goal. Know their perspective, know their goal, and pretty soon, you're going to know exactly how to make them talk as individuals.

It's a short tip today because I want to hear some tips from y'all. What is the strength to your dialogue? What do you feel is your weakness? Do you think you might be missing the boat anywhere?

Dee

I like what you're saying about the speech having to be true to the character's, well, character! 

My strength (I think!....only an editor will tell me if I'm off base, or on target!) is in writing realistic speech -- not overly formal. I try to write the dialogue the way I'd speak it.  Personally, I don't know too many people who'd say "I cannot understand why you would not do what I have asked of you."  (Stupid sentence, but....) If I were to put it in a contemporary story, I'd say "I can't understand why you won't do what I've asked of you." or make it even shorter.  Just my opinion, though. 

My biggest dialogue weakness is remembering that I shouldn't use names too often, since we rarely use them in speech.  I know conversation flows better without proper names in a sentence, but I find that I'm always having to edit my work for that! <thunk!>

And Nancy, LOL! I almost spewed my drink all over my keyboard!

LOL!!!  For shame!

Nini :)

LOL Nancy! The most common--and best, in my opinion--way to tell if your dialogue sounds right is to read it aloud. Are you putting the inflection down where it's necessary? And this is the one that gets people a lot--is it actually written the way you're reading it? Lots of us read it how we meant it, but write it out properly and don't see the difference. Are you using compound words, like in Jodie's example, but writing out cannot and did not, etc? Those two double checks will help you find the right harbor, lol.

I'm glad you're liking the BBCs. We're looking into ways to make it more interactive. There's a lot of teachers on this site and this is a great place to learn. But I can teach some basics for the time being. The advanced classes, though, we'll be getting HQ Authors. :) As soon as we put together some ideas for topics. :)

Jodie--Oh yes, believable content is indeed a strength. When writing Americans, nothing is your friend quite like the apostrophe. Which is why European books, yup, even some Harlequins, lose me. The formality of speech is a deal breaker every time. When they depict average American's speaking so formally, the book is gone entirely. The reader can't wear her Believability shoes if they don't fit.

Names can be a big stumbling block. I'm constantly editing them out of my own work. In one line, they can add conviction and connection. In thirty lines of the same discussion, you end up with a drama queen/king. I try to wipe them out of most dialogue, but every now and then... But that's what editors are for, too, lol. I know mine catches me THINKING about too many names.

Great tip, Nini! The deeper a writer can immerse herself in a character, the truer she can be to them. I usually use music to help with that process, so each character has a sound in my head. It creates a Pavlovian trigger that gets me right to the heart of them when I hear it. Probably won't work for everyone--I've had to give it up because I can only really write during nap time--but it worked wonders for my writing and I can't wait to get back to it.

Love the music idea!  Except that music can completely change my mood depending on what's playing.

Beware DH!!!  lol

Tiff-

And I too am getting loads of info.  Thanks so much for the insight.

Dee, I work more effectively to music, too. It helps me cut out other distractions. LOL

Just found it and now that I am caught up- is it finished?

Angel

I've just been the chew toy in a tug a war with my girls. I'm not really sure who won, lol.

Just woke up, so gimme a few mins to stuff something in my face and we'll discuss the sentence structure dillemma and throw in a little passive voice issue.

 :)

Dee