This happened the other day....and where else to tell it? ****Do not be eating anything when you read this!****

 Okay...before you read further, i've been advised to make sure you're not eating or drinking anything before you read further.  I didn't think it was hysterical, but justfied...

I was out food shopping. Being a wife and mother for the last twenty years, I have food shopping down pat.  Coupons, flyer, calculator (at times) and my list.  Those are the normal things i take when i go for a major shop.  But this was a, stop and grab, kind of thing.

 Food Lion - i don't know if you all have them, but it's the closest market to my house and it's good for the quickies.  Milk, eggs, butter, etc.  Not for the major goodies.

 Anyhow - a young cashier is pregnant, due in less than three weeks.  She's young, about twenty, and it seems like she's been pregnant forever.  For the moms out there, we understand this. 

She was working the 'less than 12 items' lane and since i had 13 items, i went there anyway.  I wouldn't let her pick up the milk or the heavy items, because she's freakin' ready to deliver.  But as she was scanning my items, she turned bright red and let out a loooong moan. 

Uh oh.

I grabbed her hand....said BREATHE...and she panted and then it was gone.  She looked like a boiled crab.  Bright red...and sweat dripping down her face.  I asked her if she was in labor, and she said no.  Not yet.  She was still at one centimeter.  I saw a young man bagging groceries and asked him to come over.

**I need to tell you that i used to substitute teach in the community for eight years.  99.9999% of the kids who work at the local stores know me very well.*****

So  the young boy, quickly comes over and i tell him to get her a stool to sit on.  He looks at me and i said:  Did you not hear me?  Go now.  I'm not kidding.

He runs to the office and comes back with a manager.  Okay  - not a stool...she's still on her feet, still red, and still moaning quietly.  Apparently she'd been on her feet for a few hours and still had about six hours to go.

So the manager (A MAN) comes over and asks if she's in labor.  She said no, but she was having small contractions.  Normal Braxton-Hicks.  I looked at the man - said...Hello??? She needs to sit down.

He looked at me and said why?

Ok....if you truly knew me, you'd know i was a mouthy person and not happy with the stupidity of others.  That was one dumb question. 

I looked at him again, looked at the young man behind him with his eyes wide, and at the young woman with her trying so hard not to laugh.  I asked him (the manager) if he had any children.  He said yes, and I said, and you still ask why she needs a stool?  He shook his head yes.

I quietly spoke:  Sir.  I'm going to be blunt.  Please forgive me in advance for saying what i'm going to.  I mean no disrespect because i'd like to continue shopping in this store.  If it's okay with you, i want to say something, but you may not like it.  So it's up to you.

He said:  Go ahead.

Man is dumb.  Man is just plain empty headed dumb.

Okay...and this is what i said:

Sir.  When you can carry 30 pounds on the tip of your penis, then you have the right to ask a pregnant woman why she needs a stool to sit down.

He looked at me and then told the boy to get her a stool.  The young lady also said that she had a doctor's note for sitting down on the job, and that the OTHER manager (A MAN) had it.

Well, the young boy who got the stool had cringed when i said what i said, and the young lady burst out in hysterical laughter.

I mean, come on, any woman, and i'm not talking about being pregnant, but any woman who goes thru her cycle knows what i mean.  On heaviest days, it could be very painful in that region. 

If you're pregnant, we know what that's like.  I don't need to explain it.  It's the reason we have the 'sneeze or cough and pee' syndrome.  Let's be for real.

So.........i was trying to write, trying to think of new ideas to make my story sexier and this popped into my mind.  Easier to write it out, get it out of my system and then go on with the yummy stuff! Which is what i'm going to do.

Hugs!

Nini :)

Participating author in Summer 2008 Pass the Plot

Powerful Women's Motto:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...

'Oh hell! She's awake!!'