Header PromotionSo we all want him, the sensitive male, or at least we don't want the insensitive one...
We want the words. we want to be told we are loved, desired, needed and we want him to say them because they're right, and he knows they'll make us smile. We want him to know, without being told, that we are upset, and why. We want him to bring flowers home, once in a while, just because and we want him to be angry, along with us, when we learn our best friends boyfriend has been catting around.
We all also want the alpha, or at least to some extent. Very few of us truly want a bully and nobody wants a stalker, but for the most part...
We want him to sweep us off our feet, to scoop us up and carry us to bed and show us, without words, why he is the one. We want him to be determined to have us, to pursue us until he does, until he's proven he was right and that we are meant to be. We want him there, ready and able to step in if we need help.
So what's the balance...
How sensitive is too sensitive and what turns a nice guy into someone a touch too feminine?
How alpha is too alpha and makes us want to smack him upside the head for pushing us around?
And the biggie... What makes a man a man and takes him beyond the fantasy?
You tell me your thoughts on this.
Oh man...
I thought this was about *cake* -- of which there is no "too much." LOL
I think it all comes down to the moment they're in. A guy who can be who he needs to be at the right moment, whether tough, mellow, fun, or sexy -- who knows when not to take command as well as when he needs to -- that's the trick, I believe. The perfect guy has to be layered, and provide elements of surprise, not be one dimensional, you know? I love that my husband is very smart and sweet -- with me, with our dogs and with kids (and I think I caught him wiping an eye at the iTunes lion video last week -- you know the one I mean? though I discreetly pretended not to notice), but he's also working on his black belt and he'll go nose to nose with someone if he had to. I've seen him get very intimidating, and the first time I ever saw it, it was quite a surprise -- I wouldn't want that all the time, but it's nice to know it's there under that calm, friendly exterior. ;)
Sam
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You pretty much echoed my
You pretty much echoed my thoughts Sam.
My dh is a good guy who can be both sweet and agressive, depending on the situation.
Make a Difference - Read
My Dh is super
He's usually the calm one and the reasonable one. He misses some things but not the important ones. After 40 years of married life he can still surprise me. We don't have kids but he is super with all the great kids we have. (Children of neices and nephews) When my mom was failing rapidly he stepped up to the plate and we had my parents move in with us. He helped my dad have his bath and put up with my moods. At the time I was so tired and knew that my mom didn't have long to live. Real emotional roller coaster. He proposed to me on our first blind date. He had seen me the night before at a dance and got his friend to ask my friend to set us up. This was 1967 and I thought it was just a line to get into my pants. I am sure glad that he hung in there as I really have a winner.
When I get a little money I buy books, and then if any is left I buy food and clothes..-- Erasmus
Kaelee, What a Wonderful Story
Kaelee,
What a wonderful story!
As time goes by, I truly believe that my dh and I are soul-mates. To make a long story short, we would never have met if I hadn't made a decision to come to the States for college studies. At that time, everyone told me that I should stay in UK, we would never have met if I had chosen not to come to the States or had chosen the other college in Southern Calif. He's very caring, my elderly aunt lived with us after we married, he carried her up & down the stairs when she was sick. He turned around to comfort me when I accidentially deleted his six months worth, four hundred, emails. At work, his clients seek for his expertise. As a father, he can get the kids attention & listen to his quiet words. From time to time, he surprises me with some romantic little gestures to cheer me up. I guess I have the cake too ...
Orchid
Orchid
Sam, you said it all--it's
Sam, you said it all--it's having a wide range of personal attributes and pulling out the correct one for the situation.
Nancy
H'm this is a tough question, Lorie
I love reading about rogues and 'bad boys'. But in real life I'm drawn to a more sensitve man. Actually one man in particular. My DH. Guess I feel the way Kaelee does about her man (great story, btwy, Kaelee).
I've known my DH since I was thirteen. His parents met my parents at church and quickly became friends. Greg is eleven years older than me, so, of course, he was already a grown man. He used to torment me horribly. Once he called me an 'immature little brat', which thinking back on it, was probably true. Anyway, I thought I hated his guts. And at the time, he really did only see me as a 'kid sister'. Needless to say, those feelings changed over time. We're now best friends.
His best attributes are that he actually listens when I talk. He rarely loses his temper with me - even when I make some kind of ghastly mistake (and I've made some doozies through the years, let me tell you!). He has never, I repeat NEVER, complained about my cooking - even though I'm far from the world's best cook. He is loyal, companionable, gentle, thoughtful, and a very loving father to our DD. Of course, he also has his downsides. He's stubborn, can be overly tedious, and loves to take naps - LOL! But overall, I'd say he's exactly what would make a wonderful beta-male for a story. Alpha-males are great to read about, but like I said, for me, at least, the beta is better.
Of course, like Sam mentioned (love that part about the blackbelt!) a little aggression is necessary. It helps keep a manly-man balance.
This probably isn't what you wanted, Lorie, but I hope it makes a little sense.
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
- Mark Twain
these how we met/got together stories
sound like great romance novels. Echoing Sam.
Christa ~ Quiet Canadians ~ 2008 Challenge Blog
My Shelfari Page
A man who
can let me be the strong willed woman I am and doesn't have a problem that I'm more athletic, have a third degree black belt but who can put me in my place when I need it.
The D2K Paranormal Junkies ~ 2008 Book Challenge Blog
Cake...
Aw, how sweet Kaelee. I'm glad to hear you hung in there too.
*grins* Mmm, and how is your cake Orchid?
Amanda, a man who actually listens and eats what you put in front of him without a word is a keeper, and it's exactly what I wanted, since it is yours to share, thank you for doing so.
You sound more and more like me every day Deb, except for the athletic part...
Hi Chista.
Thank you ladies, for sharing your thoughts. I have another question to post today, but my alpha wants to go shop for a new kitchen table before he goes to work, so it will have to wait til this evening.
Make a Difference - Read