my friend Jeff died about 2 hours ago. He has had epilepsy for years but it's been getting more sever lately. He had a seizure two weeks ago and then he had another on on Monday. The one Monday was the worst one he's had. He had paralysis on the whole left side of his body and ammonium levels were through the roof in his system. A couple days ago his kidneys and his liver started shutting down. The doctors talked to his mother about dialysis but she didn't want to do it. She also said she didn't want to put him on life support. This morning he had three seizures one after the next and they knew it was very close. Another friend was out there this evening and said Jeff was in relaly bad shape. The simplest way to put it without going into graphic detail was that Mark said Jeff's body was in a constant state of seizure. I was going to go to the hospital but Mark also said Jeff's family seemed to just want to be left alone, so I didn't go.
At 9:45 tonight I got the e-mail that Jeff died at 9:35. I was OK long enough to e-mail all the people I needed to contact to tell them and then I broke down. I wasn't super close to Jeff but we were friends. He was only a couple years older than me. I was pretty upset, called Mom and dad to talk to them for a while. Felt a little better afterwards but I know I'll be having crying jags all weekend most likely. Though I know at the funeral is when it will really hit me hard.
~eHQ April 2008 Member of the Month~
Oh no, that's such sad
Oh no, that's such sad news. Poor guy, poor family and friends. You're probably doing the right thing giving the family some breathing space. Being around and supportive is all you can do I guess.
One of my cousins has epilepsy. We're hoping it's under control. He's had surgery at least twice in years I remember (he's over a dozen years older than me, I'm 23, so I may have been too young to hear about some of his surgeries). His last surgery, he was two weeks away from going a full year without a seizure, and then he had one. Knocking on wood that it can stay under control for him. He's got a young family so it's very stressful and scary to go through.
Thanks Janet. I appreciate
Thanks Janet. I appreciate it. I've calmed down a bit after talking to my parents but it's just such a shock, even though we knew it was imminent. I don't expect people my age to die so suddenly.
Don't let Jeff's situation worry you about your cousin's situation. I don't know all the details but I think there was more to Jeff;s situation complicating the epilepsy. He suffered a brain injury as a child that is what started the epilepsy. And he was on several different medications apparently, so I'm thinking there was more to his health problems than the seizures.
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~eHQ April 2008 Member of the Month~
Hmmm. You know, I don't
Hmmm. You know, I don't know the ROOT of my cousin's epilepsy. I just know he's had it since he was a kid too. I don't know if it was an injury or whatnot. Medications and surgery... all so complicated. Hard thing to manage for good, the brain's very complicated. Staying hopeful though. He did go almost a year without a seizure, and it's been months since.
It's so sad to see people die at any time, but especially young. I've been to too many funerals, probably 10 and I'm only 23. Three for young people: one for an 8 year old friend of my brothers when I was 10 (car accident, so sad), one high school friend had a car accident his first year of university (so sad, his father found the crash), and a friend of my sister's who died at 20 from a brain tumour (not enough warning, and his mom felt so horrible not noticing his symptoms earlier... he'd had double vision and they had talked about it and thought he was partying too hard). All so tragic.The rest of the deaths close to me have all been cancer-related. Four in my family, so I'm pretty much scared shitless of cancer.(wow, uh, on re-read this is really depressing, taking that out.)Thinking of you!
Thinking of you!
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(((Kelley)))
I am so sorry for your loss .... sounds like Jeff endured alot in his last days ..... take comfort that he's no longer suffering and that he's now whole again and in a far far better place
(((hugs)))
KatherineT-eHarlequin ~ Book Challenge Host
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Hey Kelley,
My condolences...I know it will be tough for a while.
"I would be the most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves"...Anna Quindlen
Losing a friend is never easy
hoping that you will soon be able to remember all the good things about Jeff and know that his suffering is over and he's in a better place. His family is going through some bad times as well and will appreciate your presense at the funeral. It will be very hard to go to but funerals celebrate a life well lived. I'm crying with you as I enter this. Crying is a good thing. Take care.
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Kelley
Condolences. {{{{hugs}}}}
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{{{{{{{HUGS FOR KELLEY}}}}}}}
I'm so sorry to hear about Jeff.
Penn
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Am so sorry
to hear another loss you must endure. My thoughts and prayers are with you (((((((((((((((((((Kelley))))))))))))))))).
Cheryl http://peacefulpond.blogspot.com/
sorry
sorry to hear, i can real relate to what you are going through.
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Kelley: I'm so sorry to hear
Kelley: I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. {{{{{hugs}}}}} Know that there is a community of folks caring about you.
Nancy
Kelley....
All I can say is that I'm sorry and I'm here if you need me. Hugs!
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Sorry for your loss Kelley
it's tough to lose a friend at any age but hopefully the knowledge that he's no longer suffering is some consolation
Feel free to vent any time you need to
Hugs
Sadhbh
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Take Care, Kelly
Take Care, Kelly
Orchid
Really sorry to hear about
Really sorry to hear about your friend. Take the time to cry when you need to, and also make sure to get outside and out of your head when you can. Will keep you and Jeff in my thoughts.
So sorry
Kelley--
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs, thoughts and prayers coming your way.
Mary
~~
(((((((((((((Kelley)))))))))))) It's always heartbreaking to lose a friend, whether they're very close or not. Mom and I will keep you in our thoughts & prayers.
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Kelley
I'm sorry you are suffering another loss. I think it is a good idea to give the family space for a bit.
I was reading what you said about Jeff's condition and it reminded me of my cousin Rebecca. She was just a baby when she got meningitis (sp?). She did suffer some brain damage. Then when she was about six or seven she had a horrible farming accident. She was playing on a sorting machine. The blade went into her head and her jaw. She obviously suffered more brain damage. She started having seizures after that. They said she would not live past 18 years old but she is now 48 years old! She still has seizures and they are getting worse then ever now but the family was blessed to have her this long after that diagnosis.
I'm sure you also feel blessed to have known Jeff even for this short time.
(((Hugs)))
Margie
I'm so sorry
for you and his family but Jeff is now in a much better place. Only time will ease the pain and it's so much harder when it is someone close in age or younger than you. Prayers are with you!
The D2K Paranormal Junkies ~ 2008 Book Challenge Blog
Wow I'm overwhelemed...
I've not been in here much since Friday, just long enough to post a book review or two. But I'm seeing all the comments everyone left and am blown away by the kindness of everyone. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers and condolences. I wasn't especially close to Jeff, not like some of the others in our class, but he was a friend and I'm very upset he went in such an awful way. As I understand, he fought right up until the final moments.
He was a good guy with a kind heart and did so much for others. I never knew just HOW much he did until today when we held a memorial instead of our usual Sunday School class. Let me just say, there were very few dry eyes in the room today.
One thing we were all talking about last night at a birthday party for one of our friends in the class was how many of us really were struggling with the idea of going and celebrating so soon after he died. But as several folks said, and I agree, Jeff wouldn't have wanted us to stop our lives for him. He'd have stil wanted us to all go and have a good time, knowing he'd be there if he could. And who knows, maybe he was there with us all.
The D2K Paranormal Junkies
~eHQ April 2008 Member of the Month~
I am glad you are able to
I am glad you are able to celebrate Jeff's life as you are also grieving his loss. It is always hard to loss someone, but even harder when they are young. Know that we are thinking of you.
Cady
TBR--The Born Readers
lost a friend
Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you and Jeff in my thoughts and prayers. May he rest in peace.
I'm so
sorry to hear your news Kelley. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Cole
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thanks Cole and KAtie.
thanks Cole and KAtie. Today was the memorial service and the funeral. There was a huge turn out for the service, standing room only. There was a lunch afterwards though a much smaller crowd. Then the funeral was out in E TX, a 2 hour drive but about six or 8 of us from our sunday school class carpooled out there together for the service. Jeff's uncle invited everyone over to his house afterwards but we had someone with us who drove in 5 hours after her classes at school last night who had to drive back tonight so we didn't go.
The service was beautiful and jeff has done so much that many of us never even knew about. He's definitely going to be missed.
The D2K Paranormal Junkies
~eHQ April 2008 Member of the Month~
I'm sorry you lost your
I'm sorry you lost your friend. He sounds like he was a special guy and even if he wasn't a best friend or lover he still meant a lot to you. Remember the good times. I'm sure you're right when you say he would want you to go out and celebrate good times with friends. He will always be with you in your heart.
Pat
(((Kelley)))
I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and his family and friends.
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