My Recent Comments

Books that are meant to be read for fun or entertainment can sometimes hit on painful subjects because life can and will be painful. but as a community, dealing with each others pain is varied...and sometimes not always uniform. Some people go to funerals and know exactly what to say and do, sometimes people don't go because they can't deal with the pain it produces. Does this mean that one is better than the other? Each situtation is going to require careful thought and individual choice...Face it, the days of Emily Post are over...we have so many different cultures, different social classes, different religions that it is sometimes difficult to know exactly which direction to take...so we try to take cues from the person who is feeling the greatest pain...

 Example: One of our teachers and her husband are dealing with his recent and totally unexpected diagnosis of cancer. She is one year away from her retirement, he is two years into his. They are still young (50's)...so when we heard the news (and I was the last to know because when it was shared at our team meeeting, I was at a weekly training) so I was at a loss as to how I should respond. This teacher had already lost her mom two months previously but because she had shared her feelings and her history with her mom, our response was to tell our students of her loss, have them send cards...and to send cards and a gift certificate for a dinner for she and her husband when they were ready to use it. With the newer situation, we didn't know what to tell our students, or exactly how to react or how she wanted us to react because the situation was new and we hadn't yet been able to talk with her so had little clue as to how to procee

d. We knew that she wanted no calls only emails. And so we waited to see if she was returning or taking a leave...did she know what the prognosis was? Surprisingly she returned to school...after gingerly letting her know that I was there, we talked...she is a strong spiritual person. She was able to let us know what she wanted from us in terms of support, and what was ok to talk about, etc. But we had to wait for the time to see what was necessary. We talk about her husband, his treatment, what they are doing in this days of uncertainty whether it is dancing at home or taking a picnic in the car...and of their very real grasp on their lives and beliefs.

Another person might require something totally different...and even though I still complain to her about the little things that cause discomfort in my life (I am well aware that my probs are nothing compared to what they are dealing with...) I still do it because that is part of our normal relationship.   

Would I give her a book to read about loss? Not right now, and maybe not for some time after the loss of her husband if it comes to that...I would probably do exactly what Vince did, tell someone not to give that particular book at that time.

I have told friends what books are 'heavies' or comedies or whatever when I pass them on. One of my girlfriends does do heavy in her reading...so when I gave her the first couple of books, she didn't like them. Once I knew that, I pass on the ones that I know will give her a chuckle or are light hearted romances...

On the other hand, I don't think a lot of us are well equipped to handle the uncomfortable things in life... babies not born 'perfect', spouses with cancer, divorce or widowhood...wouldn't want to get to close and 'catch' that. Reality shows that stuff happens to people every day...most of us would like to pretend otherwise. Hence the widow who gets all the attention at the funeral and several weeks after...life goes back to normal for everyone else while the widow struggles on into all those stages of grief...and she becomes a 'threat' to her married girlfriends, not all of course. Ask women who are widowed how many of their married girlfriends are still friends...the answer might surprise you.

We too often take the easy way of avoidance rather than the harder way of being uncomfortable until we figure it out...

here is one of my three grand daughters, Avianna, Shiloh, and Chole

wow! They have some cool pics ther...thanks for sharing that

Thanks for sharing the picture of Katie. She looks so sweet, and boy does that bring back memories for me! My little lovebug is 13 now and jumps from being his normal affectionate self to the surly teen several times a day! My 26 year old daughter is a Katie too. 

Of course, he is also dealing with growing several inches in several months and the voice change!

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It is not a romance but one of the best books on a vampire that I have read...couldn't put it down...maybe because it could be true!

creepy but cool:)

love the sharing about ur three year old...those are such long ago days for me now... although there are the grands, if there is 'poopie' I let mom and dad dealwith it..

but enjoy it moms...those days pass all too quickly...my youngest turned 13 in December, and because he is the youngest and last (at 40, I was done with birth), we let him stay young as long as possible. I miss those days when he wanted a smooch and a cuddle. Now he is the computer nerd, and lost in his own thoughts like most teen boys...sometimes sweet, sometimes surly.

I miss the little boy days

Finished a really good book last night, in bed....read til 11 or so which is late for me since we rise at 4:30 every day. But seeing as it is a loooong weekend for us, I indulged. Firm pillows, softly snoring hubby worn out by roofing, rest of house quiet...who could ask for more?

I'll tell you a secret...I learned history by reading historical novels. history was way to boing...but the story around the facts made it alive for me!

I encourage my students to do the same...learning facts and dates is so not fun, but make it entertaining and lively, and my students jump right in...

i still don't like to read books about history...read very few non fiction for that reason...but i have a suggestions for all you gal pals who don't want to show the cover of your steamy reads...book covers...slide one on and away you go...

I have a very active dh who lives for the outdoors...fishing, hunting, and more fishing and hunting so when I go along (fishing not hunting), I bring a book. My daughter and stepdaughters are all readers and we tend to share our finds...but sometimes our tastes diverge...kate loves the blaze books, heather is a big supernatural fan...stephen king etc. she would prob love the nocs...Valerie reads stories that are more chick stories...and some english lit which I never liked but she really enjoys...

You are right of course about reading going across the boards. Our family had limited means when I was growing up, and we all read...and I was throwing some other conversation out there.  Not all teachers push their kids but plenty do...guess it really depends on the teachers. One of our science teachers is the only one who isn't a doctor. He went to medical school but his heart wasn't in it. All of his brothers are doctors! So you know there was pressure there.

We all had good teachers and not so good. One of mine slapped me in the face and called me a 'dirty little Indian' . However, that was an exception...most of them were really great.

And I grew up reading Harliquens...just like my mom and grandmom...