My Recent Comments

Just found this thread and wanted to send you a congrats - again!!! lol!!

I have a really good feeling about the full, too. A two week preview before the agent sends it to anyone else? come on, you have to admit... That ROCKS!

 

SueB

I made hubby come up with 6 words to sum up his life before I told him what I wrote on my sticky tab. Want to know what he came up with?

 

Red wine. No condoms. Hello Claire.

 

Claire is our 8 month old.

 

Lol! Just had to share that. It was too good to keep to myself.

 

SueB

yeah, for some reason I really wanted to work chianti and fava beans into the story...

 

silly, I know. ;)

 

Thanks!

 

Off to write.

 

SueB

My challenge - There it is...in all its campiness. I can't believe I wrote that.  Ah well. I had to get it out of my system. I'm sure I broke a few vampire rules (are there rules?) in the process...

 

Glad I brought it up, though. Otherwise we wouldn't get to read Vince's story. ;)

 

I'll read the rest Saturday morning when they're all posted.

 

Fandl - my email is suebee_717 at yahoo dot com. Would you mind critiquing my challenge entry first? Then you can take your pick. (If you're up for more). Got a couple of things I'm working on... 

 

Sue Bee

921 words

 

Annie lifted the gothic-style door knocker and winked at Clark. “Don’t be nervous.”

 

“I’m not nervous.” Clark clasped his hands behind his back and forced a smile. It was just her parents. How bad could it be?

 

The door flew open and Clark stared at the whitest teeth he had ever seen.

 

“Oh, Annie. So glad you stopped by.” The teeth barely moved and Clark’s eyes fixed on their smooth exterior. They almost looked…fake.

 

“And you must be Clark.”

 

He pulled his eyes away from the straight rows to see an older version of Annie. He shook her hand. “Mrs. Dawson.”

 

“Clarice.” She nodded a fraction of an inch. “We’ve been expecting you.”

 

Clark followed the ladies down a small hall and to an open room. Clarice and Annie chose seats in the living room while he remained in the doorway. Clean couldn’t even begin to describe his surroundings. This place felt hospital sterile. Everything had been scrubbed bare and the faint smell of chlorine drifted to his nose. A large fireplace stood as the focal point of the room. Small pictures in dollar store frames lined a small mantel above it. None of this interested him.

 

The large picture above the mantel did. A woman dressed in white stood next to a man in a tuxedo against a backdrop of a starry night. It looked to be a wedding picture.

 

“Marie.” he whispered.

 

“You know her?” A tall figure dressed in black stood in the doorway. His eyebrow arched as he raised a glass of dark liquid to his lips.

 

Know her? Marie had been the love of his life.

 

Then they got married.

 

Something had happened to the sweet innocent girl he dated. He could deal with her odd sleeping and eating habits. He couldn’t deal with her late nights out and her family’s cryptic phone messages. When things escalated he filed for a divorce - two years ago.

 

“I knew her. We don’t keep in touch anymore.” Clark didn’t want to frighten his fiancée, or her family, with his suspicions. “How do you know her?”

 

“Family friend.” Clarice stood. “Would you like some Chianti?”

 

“No thanks.” Clark eyes remained fixed on the picture.

 

There was definitely something odd about Marie. After the divorce she would show up on his door step at all hours of the night, asking to come in and talk. She claimed she wanted to reconcile. Something about her didn’t seem right. Maybe it was the thinning hair or the dramatic weight loss. He sent her away and eventually she left him alone.

 

“She’s a great girl, isn’t she?” The man appeared almost wistful as he looked at the photo. “The picture was taken last summer in the Poconos.”

 

“Daddy, Clark doesn’t want to hear about Alex and his wife, do you honey?” Annie looped her arm around him.

 

“Of course he doesn’t.” The man flashed a perfect grin. “Please, have a seat. Would you like anything?”

 

Clark felt himself steered towards the couch. “No thank you.”

 

“Come on, I’ll fix you what I’m having.”

 

A cool glass of dark liquid filled his hand.

 

“Let’s have a toast.” Clarice raised her wine.

 

“To Marie and Clark, may they always be happy.”

 

Clark swirled the glass. The contents embraced the sides like a lover. “Annie.”

 

“What?” Clarice asked.

 

“Annie.” A cold bolt shot through Clark as he spoke. “Her name is Annie. Not Marie.”

 

Annie frowned at her father. “Of course it is.”

 

Something wasn’t right. A father should know the name of his children. Clark’s stomach lurched and he gripped the arm of the sofa. “I don’t feel so hot.”

 

“Here, take a sip. You’ll feel better.”

 

Clark felt a glass press against his lips. The metallic tasting liquid coated his mouth.

 

“There now, don’t you feel better?” Clarice asked as the glass moved away.

 

Clark tried to focus on Annie next to him. Her outline blurred and for a moment he thought he sat next to his ex-wife.

 

But that was impossible.

 

“Maybe I should be going.” A firm hand pushed on his shoulder as he tried to stand.

 

“Sit. You don’t look well.” Clarice said.

 

Annie put her hand to his forehead. “He doesn’t have a fever.”

 

Voices rose and fell as Clark fought to stay conscious. His eyelids felt heavy and he no longer had the strength to hold them open.

 

“It’s time.” Annie said.

 

“Time for what?” Clark rubbed his eyes and saw the three before him.

 

“You managed to get away from me once, and it took me two years to get you back.”

 

Clark blinked. Why did Marie’s voice come out of Annie’s body?

 

“Don’t worry, my child. He won’t get away again.” The man grinned and Clark focused on the sharp daggers which protruded from his mouth.

 

“Since he has given you so much grief, we’ll let you go first.” Clarice took a long sip of wine and leaned over until her face came within inches of Clark. “He’s close enough.”

 

What was it with those teeth?

 

Annie hit the arm of the sofa. “Mother! You always do this to me. Not before they’re unconscious. It’s rude.” Suddenly Marie filled Clark’s vision.

 

Clarice shrugged. “He won’t mind soon enough.” Her voice sounded hazy as she stepped back and took another sip of her wine. Clark closed his eyes and fought the blackness which pulled at the edges of his mind.

 

He felt a small pinch on his wrist.

 

“Are the fava beans ready?”

 

Then the lights went out. 

 

 

vince, I have to say I loved your story. how beautiful! Mine pales in comparison. I always love your writing...it always makes me so emotional. You didn't dissapoint this time around.

 

Let's just say my story is totally different. ;) You'll see in a few.

 

Lou - I agree with Jules - you'd be a good judge. And I'm in no way bias since I know you like paranormals and mine is kinda sorta paranormal.

 

katherine - ((HUGS)) about the dog.

 

Shannon - omg. lol about your six words, too funny.

 

There was something else I wanted to say, but forgot.

 

I'll think of it later...

 

Anyhoo...let me just read through my story one more time and I'll post it. I haven't seen it in two days and I sorta forgot what it's about....

 

SueB

Congrats on the request! woohoo!

 

SueB

Just came back from the first class. Interesting to say the least. I think I'll like it even though the others in the class write in totally different genres than I do.

 

So, as an icebreaker, we all got sticky notes to write on. We had to write our names and six words to sum up our life and then wear the sticky note throughout the evening...

 

My words were 'Used to relax. Then had kids.'

 

It got me thinking it would be a good exercise for this group...so....

 

If you could sum up your life in six words, what would they be?

 

I'm intersted to see what people come up with...

 

SueB

GReat news! And stay up on cloud nine for a while. You can keep Lauren company. Good news comes so infrequently. Bask in the glow while you can...

 

SueB

Don't go and steal Lauren's thunder! lol. I'm waiting for her to tell it before I say anything...

 

And I agree, Nini. You and Jules are next!

 

SueB