My Recent Comments

Does anyone else have the problem that the forum comes up with the first post and not the first unread post? How can I fix it? As the number of posts increases, the paging down grows tedious.

SAO

I'm planning on submitting the the Presents' instant seduction contest and I'm unsure of the format.

Everything has to be in one file. Do I start off with a cover letter? Or a title page formatted for print? Or should my first page just be contact details?

I guess I can't decide if a cover letter is an added nice touch or just delaying the judge from getting to the story in the limited time they have to read it.

Any help will be greatly appreciated

SAO

'She was reading the book.' is past progressive tense. It is used to emphasize the duration of an action. 'She was reading the book while he made dinner.' Or it can indicate an incomplete action. 'She was walking to the store when she got shot.' (She didn't get to the store.)

I think that there are times when the simultaneous action is not explicit. As in 'She was reading the book.' Without the 'while he made dinner.' So, if it sounds right to you, use it.

I find some CPs eliminate every instance of 'was' declaring it passive. And sometimes it ends up with stuff that just plain sounds wrong. 'Was' is not inherently bad.

Passive voice is when the actor is not the subject of the sentence.  'The book (subject) was read by her (actor).'  You want your characters to be active people in charge of their fates, not tossed around by fate. 

 On the other hand, you need passive when the actor is not important.  'He was murdered.' Puts the emphasis on the victim. 'Someone murdered him.' puts the emphasis on the murderer, but the start of a dectective novel is usually about the victim, not the unknown murderer.

I think you could make a gloriously slimey character using a lot of passive. Someone who never takes responsibility for his actions by using the passive voice. 'Mistakes were made.' Never 'I made a mistake.'

End of rant. I'm not a grammar guru, I'm a nitpicker.

SAO

I don't know what forum you posted them on, but 'Where to write?' doesn't define what you want from the reader of it.  I write at my desk, as I imagine most people do. If you want new ideas, you might try 'Anywhere but the dreaded desk.' If you have no space, you might try, 'Help, I have no place to write!' Either way, you'd be more likely to attract people with something to offer.

But it strikes me that the issue is the same for opening our novels. We need to think about what we want our reader to do after the first sentence/para/page. Which means 'be introduced to my characters' is not a good answer because that's passive. 'Care about whether my heroine acheives her short or long term goal,' defines what you've got to cram into the first sentence/para/page and tends to eliminate bad hair day openings, since describing the bad hair day wastes space.

I don't think you should always end your chapters in the middle of a scene. Until you finish your book, there should be more emotional issues between hero/heroine (or in a mystery, more mystery to be solved), so a chapter ending hook can be a reminder that the just ended scene didn't resolve all the issues.

I find if a chapter ends mid scene and then the scene finishes later (either after some boring stuff or at the beginning of the next chapter) I often feel manipulated.

That said, I think some scenes can be cut before the logical end and you never show the end. I had a scene where my heroine pushes the hero away sharply half-undressed, half-way to the bedroom. Cutting it there made for drama and I never got a the second half of the scene to work. So I settled for a wince as she remembered it when a girlfriend asked about the date.

SAO

I'm writing mine and to summarize my plot, it's hard to sound interesting. To what extent do I focus on what the scenes are doing for the plot and to what extent on the content of the scenes?

SAO

I think it looks right to capitalize endearments, like Honey, when used as a title. 'Can you get me a beer, Honey?' but my crit partners are always telling me to take out the caps.

When the word is not a title, 'You're a honey for getting me that beer,' I don't cap it.

Am I right to capitalize the endearments (and epithets 'Don't touch my beer, Jerk.')?

My understand about the 'My brother Fred works out in the gym.' question is that if you have lots of brothers and only one works out, then "Fred" becomes restrictive and you don't use commas.

'My brother Fred works out, but my brother Joe doesn't.'

Versus; 'My only brother, Fred, works out.'

Which boils down to if the sentence makes sense without a word or phrase, set it off with commas. If you need the word or phrase to mkae sense, don't.

SAO