My Recent Comments

Hi and congrats to the winners of the latest challenge! 

I've been MIA this summer with all 3 kids home: travelled for a month visiting family and being a counselor at a summer camp where I taught creative writing and had a bad fall on some wet tile, getting out of the shower. (Broke my elbow, hairline fracture, can't be set, NO FUN...). Anywayyyyy...now that I can type again without *totally* killing myself....

It looks like the thread setups have changed and I wanted to be clear about where we post our entries for these challenges...is it here, and then it gets moved elsewhere, is it somewhere else, or is it here and then this thread gets closed and another starting? And I'm confused...is there some new type of "Community Writing Challenge" as advertised on the forums' main page, or is this arrangement what's being referenced?

Thanks folks....I've missed a lot, lolol....

I don't have a thing against lawyers...actually...I based that character on an actual one that my mom used to bump into at a certain single's group.  Her name is Renee (pronounced Reenie because it's short for Maureen) and the guy ALWAYS used to call her Renee (Ren-NAY) and then say "Ree-nie, Ren-NAY, whatever," whenever she corrected him.

I thought about using her actual response, because it's a classic.  After a while she got sick of it.  So, the next time she saw him, and he did it, she asked, "Well, Larry!  How's your proctology practice going?"

He said, "Actually, I'm a lawyer..."

She said, "A$$hole doctor, a$$hole lawyer...WHATEVER."

You're in Pittsburgh too? NO HWAY!!!!  Small freekin' world, ay? 

(oh, and....GO PENS!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!)

And of course...congrats, winners!!!!  More detailed impressions later, I promise.  Today is a little nuts. 

Kirsten Weller experienced second thoughts about having taken a Singles’ Cruise, as she found her seat during the “Munch and Mingle” Dinner.   She perused the assignment card, examining where she’d be sitting for each course.  For salads, she found herself between cowboy-hatted Bill Lewis of Milton, Texas, and Avi Sherman, a lawyer from Queens.

“So, Kristen, I bet a fancy cruise ship is pretty different from boring old Ohio,” said Avi.  “Avi Sherman, here’s my card.”

“That’s Kirsten,” she corrected, putting the card in her purse to not appear rude.

“Kristen, Kirsten…easy mistake,” shrugged the lawyer.  “Anyway, do you like the cruise?”

Before she could decide between a polite or pointed answer, here came the Scintillating Seafood Salad, which was just a Caesar salad with a few miniature shrimp tossed haphazardly on top.

“Bon Appetit,” Kirsten mumbled. 

The cruise was her 30^th birthday surprise from her family and friends.  Kirsten was mildly frustrated that everyone’s idea of a good present was to send her to a floating meat market.  Still, she realized the gesture came with good intentions, and maybe it wouldn’t hurt her to have an honest adventure.  As long as her guest appearance on The Love Boat didn’t involve too much more of the noisily eating lawyer, Kirsten decided…. 

“So Kristen,” said Avi, his mouth full and a shrimp hanging from his lip.  “Are you going to Disco Night, later?  I can teach you some moves!”

“I, uh…” she replied, searching for someone to rescue her from the situation.  Bill Lewis and Marnie, the bobbed blonde on his other side, were engaged in lively conversation.  Beside Marnie was a painfully shy bald man with large glasses, looking like he’d rather be somewhere else, and next to him, a large black woman named Lorena.  Lorena sat beside Chuck, a ruddy, blue-collar sort, and next to him, the bimbo on the other side of Avi, whose name Kirsten hadn’t caught.  Luckily for Kirsten, Lorena responded.

“Disco moves?  Honey, you just try to out-dance me.  I’ll throw your little white ass all over that floor.”  Lorena snapped her fingers in the air and winked at Kirsten as the table erupted with laughter.  A loud bell sounded, and everyone got up to find new seats for the Appetizer Course.

As Kirsten found her new seat, Avi Sherman came over. “Why, Kristen, here we are again!” exclaimed Avi.

“Kirsten,” she sighed.  Avi ignored her correction and babbled away.  As Kirsten was seated, a tall and disarmingly handsome man took the seat on her other side. 

“Steele MacGruder,” he said with a mischievous grin.  The other women at the table noticed Steele and began descending like vultures with perfectly manicured claws.  Avi realized he had no chance during the Appetizer Course and kept to himself.  Kirsten merely ate and stared periodically at Steele.  Soon, the bell rang again, and everyone rotated for the Main Course.  Steele put a hand on Kirsten’s shoulder and whispered, “Wanna ditch the rest of Munch and Mingle?  There’s this great Thai place on Deck E…”

“Don’t forget, Kristen!  Disco at ten!” yelled Avi, as Kirsten and Steele slunk out.

“I could have sworn it was on Deck E,” murmured Steele, as they stood in front of a large, illuminated map mounted on the floor.  “I’m not sure where it is, I guess…” 

“Um…lost…on a boat?” Kirsten giggled nervously.

Suddenly, two armed guards approached from behind them and flanked Steele.  “That’s him,” said a voice.

Kirsten turned, incredulously, to see the bespectacled bald man, the shy one from the Salad Table.  “Agent Somerset, INTERPOL.  Step away, Miss.  Sir, you’re going to the brig.”

Later, Kirsten sat across from Agent Somerset in the ship’s security office.  “You’re very lucky, Ms. Weller. He’s a con artist…he’s bilked 249 single women of travelers’ cheques and valuables. And he gave a fake name.”

“I knew a name like Steele MacGruder would only happen in a romance novel,” she answered sadly.

“You’re free to go now,” said Somerset.  Before Kirsten stood up, an elderly minister stood in the doorway.

“Ms. Weller,” cooed the preacher.  “I’m Reverend Speaks, ship’s chaplain.  Perhaps you need counseling after your ordeal.”

“I think I’m going back to my stateroom for now, thanks,” said Kirsten.

“Ms. Weller,” he sneered, “Don’t ignore your spiritual health.  Bring your troubles to the Lord.”

“Thanks, Reverend!” Kirsten said as she wedged past the condescending clergyman.  Leaving, she saw the man formerly known as Steele MacGruder. He was at a table, in handcuffs, and being questioned by several men in suits.  She felt the anger growing in her stomach.  Then, she remembered.

She returned to Somerset’s office.  “Ms. Weller?” he asked.

“Does your prisoner need a lawyer?”  Reaching into her purse, Kirsten retrieved a business card.  “I know one.  Avi Sherman.  He’s at Disco Night.  Please give MacGruder this, with my compliments.”

“Will do.  Thanks again, Ms. Weller.”

Kirsten decided to be more deliberate about enjoying her cruise.  She entered the first bar she saw, and asked for a Purple Hooter.

“Sheesh,” laughed the bartender.  “Tough day?”

“Unexpected drama on The Love Boat,” she giggled.

“Then, it’s on the house.”

“It’s all on the house until the bill arrives,” said a nearby voice.  Kirsten turned, and found Chuck, also from the Salad Table, beside her.  Chuck was more attractive than she remembered.  

“You alright? You left dinner, then cops were everywhere, I asked around and heard what happened.  You might not be ready to escape with some strange guy again so soon…but…you’re lovely.  And you left dinner, so you must be hungry.  I’d love to be the guy who proves there’re still a couple good ones left. Can I buy you some dinner?  You won’t have to switch seats all night, I promise.” 

Kirsten, melted by his kindness, extended her arm with a smile.  “You’re in luck, Chuck,” she said; now sure she would enjoy this cruise.  The pair left arm in arm as the bartender smiled and pointed both index fingers at the door.

sorry if this is on the wrong thread, but i'm posting here because i know the people on this thread the best.

if anyone out there has some spare time and is willing to give me a crit of the nocturne bite i'm 1/2 done with, drop me an e-mail at heidi@heidiwrites.com.  i need to determine whether the thing is worth finishing and subbing, and if it's hitting the points the editors are looking to have hit.  i'd really appreciate it.  i am NOT looking for someone to say, aw, good job, but moreso to be merciless without being mean. ;)

thanks! 

While the judges and I this time were doing our judging "thang", gettin' our judge on and talking about things, we thought maybe we should ask you whether it's appropriate to add 2 categories to the judging criteria for Writers' Challenges going forward...I promised the others I'd bring this up for discussion.

1. CREATIVITY, 2 points.  Sometimes, like with Olivia's Teletubbie entry and nindespin's Meat and Angel entry, there are entries that are just so out-there creative that everyone is floored, and as a judge you want to be able to specifically reward their imagination in addition to everything else we're already grading on.

2. ASSIGNMENT, 2 points.  How well did this entry meet the specific requirements of the challenge? ie. if one of the requirements is "candle," does the person not include it, merely mention a candle, make it a prop in the story, or is it integral?  An entry can be really good, but less relevant to the actual assignment than another entry might be. 

We wanted to approach Dee with this, and see what everyone else thought, too.  The more areas to award points, the more likely that a wider variety of folks will have a turn winning and judging.  Anyway...just a couple of things that came up this go-round...

I'm a housewife with no degree.  (I have 2 years of college -- I was a Comm major -- but I had to drop out because I got pregnant.) I'm not saying this to brag as much as I'm saying it to encourage you, Misty...but...I've won some awards and been able to make some money here and there, without a degree. 

I did it by just practicing and getting critiques, reading lots of books about writing (especially the ones with exercises in them...the best one ever is "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg), attending community workshops about writing. Plus, I read, read, read, and take note of what I like and want to emulate, as well as what I don't. And, there's this one newspaper reporter locally whose work I follow and really like, and sent him an e-mail asking him for advice and inviting him to lunch (brought my clips from HS, college and others)...fortunately he was really cool, receptive, and gave me good advice...and then I got my first newspaper submission accepted, went from there.  This whole fiction thing is new to me, though. ;)

The *way* I write is in spurts. Like with these challenges, once I have an idea, I sit down and crank it all out in 45 minutes to an hour.  Then I set it aside, read it over 6 hours later to see if I still like it, tweak as necessary, rinse, repeat.  If I come back to it, re-read it, and find nothing to change, it's done.  It usually takes 3 to 4 tries to get me to the point where I'm considering it done.

For each contestant's entry, I averaged the three judges' scores for that entry together to get the overall score, and the rank is below. 

First Place: TIED, VincePlato and writer2b

Second Place: nindespin

Third Place: AnitaMae

Many thanks to batmom72 and stargirl for helping with the judging, congrats to the winners, and again, good on everyone who entered this challenge...I know it was a hard one, I tried to make it a hard one because I wanted to see where everyone's creativity took it, and I don't think any of us were disappointed!

* * *    * * *    * * *

Here are my personal notes I had on the entries:

Vince...Of all the entries, this one especially stayed with me after I'd read it. I found it especially thought-provoking.  And I also thought of the King Solomon story when I read it.  Good job.

writer2b...Excellent fantasy writing in tone, characterization, and content.  I found it poignant, and loved the (whether intentional or not) Star Trek reference in the last line. I would love to read the novel this comes from, or leads to.

Olivia...Very creative twist on the challenge!  I found it both well-written and accessible to anyone who has, or has spent time around, small children.  Nice one.

sheandean...I thought yours was capable sci-fi writing, and found it reminiscent of Ursula K. LeGuin.  (That's a GOOD thing.)  

lackinginromance...I don't know why you call yourself that because your entry was not lacking in romance.  It's really brave of you to try a different genre and I commend you.

AnitaMae...I admire this serial concept approach you're taking with these challenges...it's difficult, but you're making it work!  Hope my challenge didn't de-rail you too badly.

nindespin...That was creative, imaginative, and laugh-out-loud funny.  AWESOME interpretation!

cool, gals, thanks for your help. a little off topic, but, i have a question.

i've been catching snippets of conversation about nocturne pitches, but can't find the original conversation...i've been working on a nocturne bite but haven't pitched it because i thought the rules said you could only submit fully finished bites (and mine is not).  if there's been some sort of guidelines change, or pitch contest, that allows a pitch on bites...could someone fill me in?  thanks a lot! 

OK everyone, time for me to do some reading...

I'm going to invite batmom72 and stargirl to help me judge this one, since they offered, and since from the 3 entries I've already read I can tell it would be helpful to have other sets of numbers to go from and according to the rules there are supposed to be 3 judges anyway. (gals, my e-mail address is heidi@heidiwrites.com.  check your e-mails...)

Congratulations to everyone who posted to this challenge...I tried to make it a real brain-stretcher.  ;)